Are Grieving and Depression Related?

Absolutely! They are related, but not necessarily the same thing. I've seen many blogs and on-line articles lately about the difference between grief and depression, and I do recognize and understand that grief & depression can have a wide range of causes, symptoms and stages. Grief or depression can extend from an ordinary case of the "blahs," to life-impairing, life-threatening depressive episodes for which medication is necessary. Obviously, there's a difference between those two examples. However, grief is not solely caused by the death of a loved one, nor is "death" solely related to the physical cessation of life. There are as many causes for grief as there are people in the world and negative things for us to experience. Having been through the deaths of seventeen immediate family members and close friends, I found that the tragic events that were occurring in LIFE, were just as devastating. The symptoms and stages of grief and depression can be very similar, and the treatment can be the same as well.

In addition, with all the articles I read about the difference between grief & depression, if there is one ... how long should a person be "allowed" to grieve before it is considered a major depressive episode, etc ... not one article that I've seen addressed the Biblical view of grief. (See "The Biblical View of Grief & Depression" here in this blogspot for a description of how God sees grief.) We see many "descriptions" of how we "should" feel & behave after a traumatic event, via the entertainment industry. I believe we need something way more stable than the entertainment industry to help us make it through the aftereffects of a tragedy. We need God. And His Word.

Grief and depression are not easy maladies to work through. Although healing is possible, restoration may not be. If, for example, your loved one has passed on, or if a tornado or hurricane has destroyed your home and worldly possessions, the restoration of those people and things are not possible. But you CAN be healed. And it IS possible to grow from these situations, and even to have good come out of them. Nothing can change what has already occurred in the past. But the important thing to remember is that it's possible to remove the "sting" out of the past, so that it no longer has control over your future! Maybe even to the point that it then becomes a testimony!

Is It REALLY Racial Profiling?

I don't get it. Keep in mind as you read this post, that I'm probably the least political person you know. Another thing about me ... I'm not prejudiced.  I don't like labels and putting people in "boxes."  So when you're talking about racial profiling, I'm just not on board.  I was raised in a mixed neighborhood, so I just have "people" inbred into me, not the color of their skin.  Oh, I'm well aware that the first thing you see when you meet a new person, is whether that person is male or female. And it's also quite obvious what the color of their skin is. But to me, neither their sex nor the color of their skin means much in terms of who they are as a person. It's who they are as an individual person that's important.  Now, I've known people who just could not understand that. And then I've also known people of a different skin color than mine, who totally got it. They were raised that way too!

So, I'm having a hard time wrapping my brain around the problem along the United States/Mexico border. Illegal immigrants. Problems with the drug cartels. And why the big cry is racial profiling.  I mean, doesn't it make common sense that if the problem is along the Mexican/United States border, it would involve Mexican illegals? People from the Hispanic race, who are raised in Mexico, who have not obtained legal admission to the United States? You probably wouldn't find too many German illegals coming across that border. Or Africans. We don't have trouble with illegals along the United States/Canadian border, do we? Or did I miss that news story? I don't think so! But if we did, the problem would then involve Canadian illegals. What other country directly borders ours? None! So is it really racial profiling? Or is it just something else to protest about?

Now, I'm all for protesting when something is wrong.  But in this case, what is it about the word "illegal" that we are not understanding?  You know, when you're a rancher in this part of the "woods," and you see a bunch of people who don't normally belong there, hiking across your ranch carrying semi-automatic weapons ... it's time to do something! And it doesn't matter what the color of their skin is! We're hearing news stories all the time lately about people being killed along that border ... and all the protesters can worry about is racial profiling?!? That just doesn't make sense to me!

Besides the fact that I've lived in the United States all my life ... and besides the fact that I now live in Texas ... do you know what really brought this travisty "home" to me? Watching one of the news stories on television one day, I saw an interview with a woman of a different nationality who had become a citizen of our country. This woman worked very hard to achieve this most important goal.  Her reaction to all the news stories about illegal aliens, as well as the new laws recently passed in Arizona concerning how the authorities were to deal with them, was that she was offended! And not for the reasons you might think! Her statement was that she worked hard to get where she was, and she was "offended" that we would allow others to have the same rights and life styles without having to work for them like she had to. I for one, don't blame her!

It's no wonder we have problems. We allow ourselves to be side-tracked from the real issues, with some issues other than the ones that need dealing with. People are losing their lives. Somehow it seems that should be the priority! The issue of racial profiling may have substance elsewhere, but it shouldn't be the priority in dealing with the issues we are currently having along the United States/Mexico border.

Those are my thoughts. What are yours?

"Drunk-orexia" - A Disease?

This morning on MSNBC News there was a discussion about the new, up-and-coming "disease" called "drunk-orexia." Drunk-orexia is when a person goes on a binge drinking spree, and then does not eat properly in order to balance off the caloric intake consumed through the alcohol.  The person may not eat at all, or they may eat only junk foods just to keep something in their stomach. The discussion involved this activity becoming a significant concern on college campuses these days. The "expert" being interviewed said that the practice has been going on for a long time, but is once again coming to the forefront on college campuses. This activity is a social malady, participated in partially because young people just don't know what to do with their new-found freedom. They want to be a part of their social group, while still maintaining their thin body forms and weight. 

Drunk-orexia ... a new one on me. I've heard of "anorexia" (an eating disorder) and a lot of other "rexias," but "drunk-orexia" is new to my ears and basic foundational knowledge.  I'm not sure what's worse: that this activity is occurring, or that it's occurring so frequently that we have had to put a name to it! Granted, it's been a long time since I was in college, and drinking was not new to us during those youthful years. But binge drinking followed by starvation was unheard of back then. 

I'm concerned about the label: "disease." As far as I know, diseases don't come all wrapped up in a socially appealing bottle. How easy it would be to eliminate societies maladies if that were the case. No, I believe the problem goes much deeper than that. And I also believe that it will continue to get worse unless we get all the way back to the root cause of the problem.

We do what we do because we believe what we believe.  Self-esteem and a balanced sense of self-respect is at the core of the issue. Now, I'm fully aware that emotional issues can drastically affect our physical bodies. And what once started out to be a social, fun activity, can end up in the vice grip of addiction and self-degradation. But if we don't get back to the root cause of this, we will never conquer it.

Our teenage years are often the most confusing and puzzling years of our lives. Somewhere between the times when we enjoyed playing with Tonka trucks and baby dolls, to the times when we are entrenched in career responsibilities and raising our own families, something happened. In those brief eight years of life we grew up. Or at least teens think they did.  A strong, firm foundation is absolutely essential ... before they get to the place of having to become involved in drunk-orexia activities just to be accepted by their peers.  

The problem runs deep into our psyche. Human beings, especially teens and pre-teens, need structure and discipline. They need to know that they have value and worth, and that their lives have meaning and purpose. I believe that once their feet are firmly planted on a solid foundation of balance in this, they are far less likely to develop this drunk-orexia "disease," and far more likely to have some real, non-life-threatening fun. As parents, teachers, Sunday School teachers, youth group leaders, mentors, counselors and case workers (and anyone else who works with youth), we have an amazing and awesome opportunity to help our children and our teens to grow into a positive, productive, healthy, and Godly life pathway.

Those are my thoughts, what are yours?

Boot Camps for Troubled Teens

For more info, click here

As an author of a behavioral management program for troubled teens, I'm always doing on line research on the subject. Quite often I come across blogs and websites about boot camp type programs. As a former Texas Youth Commission employee, who was assigned to work at their now closed boot camp, I take a vested interest in these type of programs.  This evening I came across a blog (click here to read the blog) written on boot camps in general, and being an advocate, I responded. Here is my response:

"I am an advocate for boot camp programs for troubled teens … at least in general … because I worked for one that I considered to be one of the best. It was a Texas Youth Commission facility.

"I was the community relations coordinator at the boot camp, and as such, part of my responsibilities included the social aspects of youth rehabilitation. I had constant contact with the youth, as well as the staff responsible for their daily care. Our staff, while not perfect in every respect, was the absolute best! We did not yell or scream at the youth, as has been generally associated with boot camps, and as has been referred to in your article above. Our program was based on structure, discipline and respect.

"While it was not my “job,” part of my “goal” became to instill within any of our youth who would listen, a sense of value and self-worth. Their lives had meaning and purpose. And once they grasped hold of that concept, they could begin to understand that they were selling themselves short through their actions. No program will “reach” every youth participant, and some at our boot camp did not receive this possibility either. But how great it was when one of them did!

"Human beings need structure and discipline, troubled teens notwithstanding. Some of them knew absolutely nothing about this concept until coming to our facility. As the community relations coordinator, another part of my job was to be the liaison between the facility and the surrounding communities. As such, I have received and entertained many questions from the public about this boot camp idea and philosophy of yelling, screaming and in general, military behavior. Yes, we wore uniforms. And yes, it most definitely was a “yes, sir” “no, sir” atmosphere. What’s wrong with that? To me, ma’am and sir are indicative of respect, and I see nothing wrong with teaching respect. In fact, the question becomes … just how do you teach a youth who has been entrenched in negative lifestyles and inappropriate behavior, to learn how to respect others? You show them! So not only were our youth expected to be respectful towards staff, but staff was respectful to them as well. I, for one, called them “sir” in my communication with them!

'Many of the youth left our facility with whole new outlooks on life, and hope for their futures. So, yes … I’m a teen boot camp advocate!

"Jane E. Harber, author
“Quit Digging! A Lifeline of Hope for Troubled Teens"

Those are my thoughts. What are yours?

Hope for Recovery

Xulon Press

I’m a licensed belief therapist, an author and speaker. All that came about because of a long bout with grief. There were 11 deaths of immediate family members in a short span of time, at the time I wrote my first book, “One Foot on a Banana Peel.” But there were also things happening in LIFE that took my breath away. Those were even more difficult, and could have destroyed me and my family. I found several interesting things during the time of research for this work. I was startled to find out how many people were suffering from grief and/or depression. Sooooo many! Another thing I was surprised at was that many believed that grief and depression are two totally separate entities. It was said that grief is only suffered at the death of a loved one. This is just not true, and it’s not Biblical either. I do realize that there can be a clinical depression that is deeper than “normal” (whatever “normal" is these days), but one thing I found out about this total separation between the two was that people were not able to connect with HOPE, or a recovery, because they didn’t know what it was they were dealing with! Knowing what the problem is, is half the battle … right? There IS hope! And there can be recovery! I’m living proof!

Spiritual and Emotional Healing

Tate Publishing

One day as I was driving in my car, the Lord showed me a picture in my mind's eye. The picture was of me, standing there in my spiritual armor. There I was ... fully "dressed." I had on the helmet of salvation. My loins were girt about with truth. I had on the breastplate of righteousness. My feet were shod with the gospel of peace. I had the shield of faith in my left hand, and the sword of the Spirit in my right. I was decked out to the max!

It's the shield of faith that I'd like to tell you about here. At that time, I noticed two things about my shield. One was that it was full of arrows. God's enemy and ours, Satan, had thrown many "arrows" my way. This shield ... faith ... stopped them from reaching me. I was grateful beyond words to my Lord for this wonderful gift of faith.

The second thing I noticed was not so good. That shield, as wonderful as it was, was very small. At that point in time, I didn't give this detail a second thought. I just went about my business and drove to wherever it was I was going.

However, in later years the Holy Spirit brought this vision back to my memory. Specifically, He caused me to focus on the size of that shield. I began to think that perhaps there were MORE arrows shot my way. Maybe some had gotten past the shield because it was so small. Maybe it didn't catch all of them. I wondered about all the arrows that had gotten past that small shield ... where did they all go?

What's the purpose of a shield? Where is it located on our bodies and what does it protect? Well, we carry it ... therefore it resides in our hands. When an arrow is shot at us, we protect the vital parts of our bodies with this shield ... our head (mind) and chest (heart). Those arrows that made it past that shield had lodged themselves in my MIND and in my EMOTIONS!

Once I realized this truth, the Holy Spirit reminded me of the Scripture that talks about removing the log from our own eye so we can help remove the speck that is in our brother's eye. (Luke 6: 42) For a split second in time, I wondered what that Scripture had to do with arrows shot past a shield. Then the "light" came on ... and I knew. Just as we must remove the log from our eye, so it is that we must remove the arrows from our mind and emotions! When we get a splinter in our finger, it must be removed. If it's not removed, it stays under the skin and eventually begins to fester. The same thing happens with those wiles of the enemy that have been shot at us and get past our shield of faith. Those arrows "fester" in our minds and in our emotions. In order for our minds and emotions to be healed, they must be removed!

Those are my thoughts. What are yours?