To Judge or Not to Judge

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How many times have you heard someone say we are not to judge others? How many take offense when they are told they are doing something wrong? How many times have you heard, "Even Jesus didn't come to judge us!" Yet, how can we stay away from what is wrong, if we don't "judge" it as being so? What do we do about this dilemma?

It's true that Jesus didn't come to this world to judge us. He came to preach the kingdom of God and to bear witness to the truth. But have no doubt ... Jesus will some day be our Judge. God is not only a God of grace and mercy, but He is a just God as well. He has committed all judgment unto Jesus Christ, and He has appointed a day for the judgment of the world to take place.

This task of judgment belongs to Jesus ... it does not belong to us. The Bible strongly warns us against indulging in judgment of others. Matthew, chapter 7, talks to us about removing the beam in our own eye before we consider the "mote" (speck) in our brother's eye. It warns us not to judge others, that we might not be judged. And if that's not enough, Romans 2: 1-3 warns us that we condemn ourselves when we judge others!

However, while judgment is forbidden in Scripture, admonishment and reproof are actually encouraged in the Word of God. We are urged in Colossians 3: 16 to "teach and admonish each other in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs..." And the Bible goes beyond just advising and encouraging us to admonish each other. It implies that admonishment and reproof are our duties. II Timothy 4: 2 tells us to "...reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine." And Titus 2: 15 tells us to "speak and exhort and rebuke with all authority."

So, where do we draw the line? Judgment is forbidden, but admonishment, reproof and rebuke are encouraged, and even commanded. Perhaps a good way to begin looking at this issue is to remind ourselves just what the whole point of reproof is all about. What is its purpose? And what is reproof supposed to accomplish?

Judgment carries with it the element of finality. Reproof, and even rebuking someone, carry an element of learning, repentance from sin, and restoration to unity. Is our intention to teach another? Do we want to correct them so that they may be brought back into the way of righteousness? Even in our sharp rebuke, is the soundness of the person's faith our motive? Godly reproof will help someone recover themselves out of the snare of the devil. And this recovery always brings honor.

We need to be sure about our own motives before reproving another.

Those are my thoughts. What are yours?

"Drunk-orexia" - A Disease?

This morning on MSNBC News there was a discussion about the new, up-and-coming "disease" called "drunk-orexia." Drunk-orexia is when a person goes on a binge drinking spree, and then does not eat properly in order to balance off the caloric intake consumed through the alcohol.  The person may not eat at all, or they may eat only junk foods just to keep something in their stomach. The discussion involved this activity becoming a significant concern on college campuses these days. The "expert" being interviewed said that the practice has been going on for a long time, but is once again coming to the forefront on college campuses. This activity is a social malady, participated in partially because young people just don't know what to do with their new-found freedom. They want to be a part of their social group, while still maintaining their thin body forms and weight. 

Drunk-orexia ... a new one on me. I've heard of "anorexia" (an eating disorder) and a lot of other "rexias," but "drunk-orexia" is new to my ears and basic foundational knowledge.  I'm not sure what's worse: that this activity is occurring, or that it's occurring so frequently that we have had to put a name to it! Granted, it's been a long time since I was in college, and drinking was not new to us during those youthful years. But binge drinking followed by starvation was unheard of back then. 

I'm concerned about the label: "disease." As far as I know, diseases don't come all wrapped up in a socially appealing bottle. How easy it would be to eliminate societies maladies if that were the case. No, I believe the problem goes much deeper than that. And I also believe that it will continue to get worse unless we get all the way back to the root cause of the problem.

We do what we do because we believe what we believe.  Self-esteem and a balanced sense of self-respect is at the core of the issue. Now, I'm fully aware that emotional issues can drastically affect our physical bodies. And what once started out to be a social, fun activity, can end up in the vice grip of addiction and self-degradation. But if we don't get back to the root cause of this, we will never conquer it.

Our teenage years are often the most confusing and puzzling years of our lives. Somewhere between the times when we enjoyed playing with Tonka trucks and baby dolls, to the times when we are entrenched in career responsibilities and raising our own families, something happened. In those brief eight years of life we grew up. Or at least teens think they did.  A strong, firm foundation is absolutely essential ... before they get to the place of having to become involved in drunk-orexia activities just to be accepted by their peers.  

The problem runs deep into our psyche. Human beings, especially teens and pre-teens, need structure and discipline. They need to know that they have value and worth, and that their lives have meaning and purpose. I believe that once their feet are firmly planted on a solid foundation of balance in this, they are far less likely to develop this drunk-orexia "disease," and far more likely to have some real, non-life-threatening fun. As parents, teachers, Sunday School teachers, youth group leaders, mentors, counselors and case workers (and anyone else who works with youth), we have an amazing and awesome opportunity to help our children and our teens to grow into a positive, productive, healthy, and Godly life pathway.

Those are my thoughts, what are yours?

Your Heart is NOT Your Friend!

There came an issue of grief at one point in my life. I did the best I could to override the pain with prayer and reading and quoting comforting Scriptures. As I battled, a simple yet very profound thought came to me that I believe might help others as well. That morning I discovered that my heart is not my friend. Now, I know that sounds strange. But just for a minute, try to follow me in this: my heart wants to remember and feel the pain of child rebellion, my own as well as my children's. My heart almost constantly remembers and feels the pain of widowhood and having been alone for so many years. Always at the wrong moment, my heart slams me with the pain of rejection and betrayal. And we could go on and on. My heart is not my friend. No friend wants you to remain captive and enslaved to painful experiences.

            The question is why? Why do our hearts want to remember and feel such hurt? And the answer is…so it will never happen again! It’s the heart’s defense mechanism, so to speak, to remember everything that went sour in our lives so that we won’t fall into that same trap again. Remember this? Remember that? Remember how it felt? Our hearts don’t want to be hurt anymore, so they throw up walls of protection against being hurt again. We could give these walls names…anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, fear, to mention just a few. These things stand in defense of our hurting hearts, making certain that we “never do that again!” One thing about those walls, though: they may protect the pain that our hearts hold so that we won’t be hurt again, but guess what else they do? They also provide a barrier against God’s blessings and keep them from getting in! This setup that our emotions have developed keeps us focused upon self, and the end result is that we become unable to receive God’s promises and blessings.

            I’m not the only one this happens to. More than likely, you have experienced something similar as well. Later that evening, I received a phone call from a friend who was also going through a hard time. As he spoke, I was praying, asking God for wisdom. When my friend asked, I explained what was happening to him was that his life was being “tilled up” right then. Before you can plant seeds, the soil needs to be prepared. It’s the same with us, especially emotionally. When God is about to bring new things into our lives or head our lives in a new direction, our emotions and thought processes need to be tilled up so we can get rid of the old and replace it with the new. You see, while my heart is not my friend, God is. He’s your friend as well. God does not want us to remain captive to those negative emotions that are so painful. He wants us to live by the grace and power of His Holy Spirit. He wants us to walk (live) by the Spirit, not the flesh. “Walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit,” He tells us in Romans 8:1-2. “For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.”

            God wants us to be more than conquerors. Why? Because as much as He loves us (and it can’t be emphasized enough here that Jesus loves each and every one of us, as individuals), there is something else just as important. There is a common good, or goal, as well. A purpose for being, if you will, which includes many more than just one individual. When we are in pain, it’s that pain we tend to concentrate on. Self becomes our focus. God wants…God needs…me (and you) to get past focusing on self and start focusing on the very important purpose for which He created us in the first place! Whether we realize it or not, God created everyone for a reason. You and I were each created for a purpose, and we have a mission to accomplish. Whatever that mission is for you, it’s an important assignment that no one else on earth can fulfill quite like you can. Focusing on the negative keeps self on the throne. Being stuck on self keeps us far removed from the goal, assignment, and purpose for which God created us. It keeps us far removed from others. The flip side of the coin is that focusing on our purpose for living keeps us focused on others. In focusing on others, our own pain subsides. There is no room left in our hearts for it.

            The greatest spiritual battle ever occurred in the garden of Gethsemane approximately two thousand years ago. On that evening, one Man, Jesus Christ, was on His knees before His Father, asking that this cup (this dreadful horror that Jesus knew He was about to experience) be taken from Him. Jesus didn’t want to suffer any more than we do. But He knew what was happening. He knew the purpose for which He was brought to earth to be born of woman and take on the form and flesh of man. He knew there was a great task at hand—salvation for all mankind—and He knew what had to be done in order to accomplish it. He didn’t want to suffer, but the bottom line for Him was that He wanted His Father’s will to be accomplished more than His own.

            Therein lies the heart of spiritual warfare. Trusting that the Father knows all that’s happening, that He’s in control of it all, and wanting His will to be done even when it doesn’t line up with our own. Even when it seems like the darkness of the night will never give way to the light of the dawn. Because there’s a greater good at stake. Jesus struggled so much with what He knew was coming…the suffering He was to endure…that He shed great drops of blood. Yet he relented. He submitted to His Father’s will. It is because of His great sacrifice that you and I can have times of refreshing. Our greatest spiritual warfare battles will follow in His footsteps. They will not occur on a battlefield; they will take place on our knees. And what will be happening is that we will be overthrowing the reign that self once had over us, so that others can take its place. That’s when we will amazingly discover that the greatest spiritual warfare battles are followed by the greatest times of refreshing. 

These are my thoughts ... what are yours?  

Tate Publishers

 

How & Why I Began Writing

“Would you like to move back to Iraan,” Jerry asked me. “Tommie & I have been praying about it ever since I made the decision to retire. We believe that now is the time, and God is calling us into full-time prison ministry. Do you want to join us?” I had been working with Jerry & Tommie in prison ministry ever since they started … 15 years, at that point. So, of course I said, “Yessss!!!”

So began a long series of events which led to writing my first book, “One Foot On A Banana Peel.” “One Foot…” is a description of grief and an expression of the hope and healing that lie beyond trauma and tragedy. The simple experience of moving in itself can be a cause for grief, and I’m not so sure I wasn’t actually experiencing some of those emotions at the time. I had been widowed in March of 1988. Raising two young children, working and moving three times during the course of those years ~ yes, I wanted to continue in prison ministry, but I was also sure I was feeling some “trauma” over the upcoming move.

Shortly after I moved back, Tommie came to me with an offer. She felt it was time to expand our ministry and move into the area of counseling in the “free-world,” (A term used by those in the prison system, referring to anyone who is not incarcerated). She asked if I wanted to join them in taking some courses. So, off we went to Crockett, Texas, to attend school at Therapon Institute, where we later became licensed belief therapists. During the course of our schooling, we had to write a 10-page paper on any subject for which a person might come to us for counseling. Up to that point, there had been 11 deaths of my immediate family members in about 7 or 8 years. So, it seemed appropriate for me to write on the topic of grief. My 10-page paper turned out to be 29 pages long! The Director of the Institute said it was a good work, and that I should turn it into a seminar. So, I spent the rest of that year and part of the next, writing and re-writing. Condensing and expanding. Dealing with life’s problems, and adding what I had learned to what I had already written. One major thing I learned in the process of all this, was that it seemed most people had the idea that grief only occurred when a loved one passed on. This is just NOT TRUE, nor is it Scriptural. There are a multitude of causes for grief, and there varying degrees of its intensity. Most of us experience it to one degree or another, and usually more than once during the course of our lifetimes. So, what about it … is there any hope?

Well, of course there is! And hope was what I wanted to share in the writing of that paper. Hope is still what I want to share. The hope that can come through even that long, dark tunnel of grief. The hope and healing that lie beyond trauma and tragedy. There have been many other trials, temptations and struggles in our lives since the deaths of all those family members, all of which produced symptoms and stages of he grief process in varying levels and degrees. Any one of these events could have had major destructive power in my life.

But the inspiration for the writing of “One Foot…” came to me one evening shortly after that when my sister (my only sibling) called to inform me that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer. My reaction to her dilemma surprised me. I was REALLY angry! I felt that ONE MORE TIME my hands were tied. Here was ONE MORE TRAGEDY that I could do nothing about. While I definitely do not have one foot on a banana peel and the other one in a grave, the reality of the situation was that I was too old to start over again … become a doctor so I can “fix” this situation, or begin in research to find a cure for cancer so my sister could be healed.

At some point during this tirade, I began to pray. It was while I was thinking about all these things and praying, that God spoke to my mind and heart. He said, “Take all that you wrote about grief and put it into book format. Reach as many hearts as you can with the light of HOPE.” Thus began my writing career, and my first book, ”One Foot On A Banana Peel,” was born. My Heavenly Father sustained me through all of those experiences that could have devastated me and my family. He sustains me still. He was the One who created hope in the first place. It is He who planted hope within my soul. So, I give honor and glory to him through the writing that I do. But it is YOU that I’m writing for. It is YOU who I pray finds hope within the pages of the books and seminars I write. It is YOU whom I know that God wants to bless with peace and HOPE. He sustained me … and He will sustain you.

http://livinghope.tatepublishing.net/
http://www.gentlespringsofhope.org/

"One Foot on a Banana Peel" With so much pain in the world, "One Foot..." is a breath of fresh air and a light of hope. "One Foot..." is a description of grief and an expression of the hope and healing that lie beyond trauma and tragedy.