Are Grieving and Depression Related?

Absolutely! They are related, but not necessarily the same thing. I've seen many blogs and on-line articles lately about the difference between grief and depression, and I do recognize and understand that grief & depression can have a wide range of causes, symptoms and stages. Grief or depression can extend from an ordinary case of the "blahs," to life-impairing, life-threatening depressive episodes for which medication is necessary. Obviously, there's a difference between those two examples. However, grief is not solely caused by the death of a loved one, nor is "death" solely related to the physical cessation of life. There are as many causes for grief as there are people in the world and negative things for us to experience. Having been through the deaths of seventeen immediate family members and close friends, I found that the tragic events that were occurring in LIFE, were just as devastating. The symptoms and stages of grief and depression can be very similar, and the treatment can be the same as well.

In addition, with all the articles I read about the difference between grief & depression, if there is one ... how long should a person be "allowed" to grieve before it is considered a major depressive episode, etc ... not one article that I've seen addressed the Biblical view of grief. (See "The Biblical View of Grief & Depression" here in this blogspot for a description of how God sees grief.) We see many "descriptions" of how we "should" feel & behave after a traumatic event, via the entertainment industry. I believe we need something way more stable than the entertainment industry to help us make it through the aftereffects of a tragedy. We need God. And His Word.

Grief and depression are not easy maladies to work through. Although healing is possible, restoration may not be. If, for example, your loved one has passed on, or if a tornado or hurricane has destroyed your home and worldly possessions, the restoration of those people and things are not possible. But you CAN be healed. And it IS possible to grow from these situations, and even to have good come out of them. Nothing can change what has already occurred in the past. But the important thing to remember is that it's possible to remove the "sting" out of the past, so that it no longer has control over your future! Maybe even to the point that it then becomes a testimony!

The Miracle of Forgiveness

Wherever books are sold

Why do we struggle so much to forgive someone when we are hurt by them? Why do we struggle to receive forgiveness for our own wrong doings? We have a hard enough time receiving God's forgiveness, yet it seems even harder to forgive ourselves for what we do wrong. Forgiveness seems to be a major issue in our world today. Why is this so?

Well, here are a couple of reasons. The first takes us all the way back to the Garden of Eden. When Eve ate the forbidden fruit, and Adam followed in kind, their first reaction was shame, as is evidenced by the fact that they tried to cover their nakedness (their sin) with fig leaves. Their second reaction was fear, as is evidenced by the fact that they hid themselves from God when He came into the Garden for their daily walk and talk. Shame and fear ... that's what sin produces!

We humans were never designed to carry that load! It's hard to come out from under such a weight. To give you a picture of why this is so, take a look at your body. When your body is hurt, bruised, cut or injured in some way, its natural reaction is to tense up, in a subconscious effort to resist the pain. The same thing happens in our emotions. When we are hurt, either by the actions of others or by our own wrong doings, our emotions "tense up" to resist the negative impact. We balk! And we respond not with fig leaves, but with "walls" (of anger, fear, shame etc.) because we don't want to be hurt again. This "resistance," whether conscious or subconscious, actually keeps our physical bodies and/or our emotions in bondage to that pain for an even longer period of time!

The second reason why it's so hard to forgive and accept forgiveness, is because we really don't understand what forgiveness means. In order to gain some insight, let me first explain what forgiveness is not:

Forgiving does not mean ignoring the offense. If the offense is ignored, it's basically the same thing as saying that it never happened. How can you give or receive forgiveness for an event that never occurred? Forgiveness does not mean there is no penalty. There is a consequence for every action, good or bad (or lack of action).  Remember, Jesus had to pay the ultimate price so that we could be forgiven!

Also, forgiving someone does not mean that you automatically forget, although forgiving someone in the true sense of the word does bring a release and peace to your mind, and perhaps even enough healing that you would not focus on the trauma as much. But some events are impossible to forget (like the untimely death of a loved one). But you can still forgive. Forgiving someone is also not an acceptance that what was done is ok. It's not ok!! And you do not have to "like it" in order to forgive. Forgiving someone does not mean that you automatically trust that person again, or that things will be ok now, OR that you have to remain in a hurtful situation. Forgiving someone is not an open door for continued mistreatment!

When you forgive someone, you excuse them. You pardon them. You release them, meaning that you no longer hold them accountable for their actions. That's a blessing for the one forgiven, but it's even more of a blessing for you! When you forgive, it releases you from the horrible bondage of pain, anger, bitterness ... and all those other negative emotions that profoundly affect your physical well being. It releases you to have room in your mind and heart for peace, joy and love.

Forgiveness is not based on our "feelings." It is based on a conscious choice made by the power of our will. What if we don't "feel" like forgiving? That's when choice comes into play. Even though we can't control all situations or circumstances in life, we can control how we respond to them! What if we forgive, but we don't "feel" any better? What if we feel that what we or they have done is just too awful? This is a classic case of the condemnation that God's enemy and ours, Satan, would have us fall prey to. But once again, we do have the power to choose ... will we believe and respond to truth? Or to our roller-coaster feelings?

Forgiveness given or received is a true miracle. There are no "keys" to fixing every wrong done to us or by us, in our lifetimes. But in terms of healing and restoration, forgiving comes as close as is humanly possible!

As always, you are invited and encouraged to join this blog, and share it with family, friends & associates.

Grieving Through the Holidays

It's that time of year again. Time for joy, holiday parties, gift giving and receiving. Time to worship the One whose birth we celebrate. It's also the time you feel grief so strongly, because the one you love has passed on. Or you lost your job. Or that fire or tornado or hurricane has destroyed all your worldly goods. Or maybe you have recently been diagnosed with a deadly disease. This is the time of year when everyone's happy, right? But you're not. You're in pain.

So, what is it that you can do? How can you get through these holiday celebrations without losing your mind, or having a breakdown ... or worse yet, becoming a hermit? Well, the very first thing you need to do is suck in that next breath of air!  Force it out, and then do it all over again!

The purpose of this blog is not to go through all the causes, symptoms and stages of the grieving process. You already know those, because you're experiencing them as we speak.  The purpose of this blog is to bring encouragement and hope to you through this holiday season.  To share some information with you that could help you get past the pain, and onto healing ... despite those emotions that make you want to hide from the world.

I read a book once called "A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows Through Loss," by Gerald Sitser. Mr. Sitser had experienced his own grievous trauma, and, therefore, was knowledgeable about what he wrote. On page 138, Mr. Sitser made this comment: "Sorrow itself needs the existence of God to validate it as a healthy and legitimate emotion. If there is no God, it makes no difference how we respond. It becomes entirely subjective, like individual tastes in ice cream. If sorrow is subjective, and it doesn't matter how we respond, then why not laugh at tragedy, loss and depression? How do we establish the absoluteness of good vs. bad, anyway? And where did we get the idea of "good" and "bad" in the first place? People feel pain in suffering because suffering is bad. We know this because we have knowledge of what is good. Such knowledge can only come from God."

Following Mr. Sitser's logic leads us to another point: denial of our negative emotions will only keep us in bondage to them for a longer period of time. We must acknowledge their existence. And then we must make a conscious choice to put them in their proper place.  In other words, throw those negative, painful emotions out like yesterday's trash. How? How is that possible? By making a conscious choice to acknowledge and grasp hold of the fact that even through the painful emotions, hope exists. Hope for healing. Tragedy is designed to defeat and destroy us. So, is healing possible? It depends on what you believe! And on what you do about hope! Grieve ... but never without hope.

Grief will destroy us, or it will transform us ... but it will never leave us the same. Our lives will never be the same as they were before the tragic event. But we can move on. And it can be a healthy, positive, productive, and most of all Godly, growth and change. Here are some practical suggestions that will help you overcome grief, especially as you progress through this holiday season:

1)  Prepare yourself. The Bible tells us in Proverbs 4: 23 to "guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."
2) Get a moderate amount of exercise. Exercise has been known to reduce stress.
3) Pay attention to your diet. Stick to the good stuff. Cut down on refined sugar, white flour products, caffeine, nicotine and anything else that is harmful to your body.
4) Get proper rest, as well as a good amount of sleep.
5) Talk to someone. There's healing power in sharing your burdens with someone.
6) Keep a journal of your thoughts, feelings, prayers and answers to prayer. Later, you'll be able to look back and see how much progress you have made.

Make a conscious choice to grab onto the hope of healing. Then take some positive steps in that direction. And don't forget to pat yourself on the back ... because even the smallest of steps is a major accomplishment!

Poverty Mentality

This morning a friend posed an interesting question concerning our human, natural instinct that circumvents "change" at all costs. Change is not easy for us, as she so eloquently put it.  Since this is a topic that I write about, I was interested in what she was saying, and I posted on her query. Also, since she is a nutritionist and very active in helping people overcome health issues, the subject naturally leaned in that direction as well.  I'm hoping that you benefit from the conversation below:

Angela: "Thinking about some lessons as of late about how we live in a spirit of poverty. Pondering this, this morning about how we let the spirit of poverty control us or make us believe wrong things about God's promise of His provisions. I'm not talking just finances either. Mulling over the spirit of poverty and how it can creep in and we can find ourselves impoverished: mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially and physically. How does it affect us? Are we sick/sickly/tired/run down because we believe our "condition" can never improve? Are we distant in our relationships because we have been hurt? Are we spiritually awake in our lives? Financially is there hope that things will change for us? Can and will God truly meet all of our needs?  Will our circumstances ever change?  Things to ponder in light of "He will supply ALL our needs" What do WE need to change in our belief patterns, faith patterns, emotional patterns, and behaviors? Can we begin to ACT as we should believe....that He WILL supply for all our needs.

"Jane, too often, I feel, or rather, believe, that it is our BELIEFS that keep us stuck in the poverty. Now, I'm not talking when $$ is TRULY so tight. I'm not trying to harass anyone here about just "get up and get yourself out of poverty. It's real, it exists. But I know you work very strongly with faith and belief patterns. I'd love if you could share some thoughts here......how CAN we begin to move in faith and belief and move towards actions of changing our lives and coming out of the different types of poverty in our lives. Will you share?"

Jane: "Sure, Angela. But as you have said, it's not just a matter of "get up and get yourself out" ... of anything, poverty mentality included. Believe it or not, this is what "Duct Tape for the Christian Mouth" is all about ... changing old, unproductive and/or inappropriate thought patterns and belief systems, habits and traditions.

"The REAL issue is to get back to the root cause of the belief. Are we believing something that is true, or not? If it's not truth, do we still want to hang onto that belief? Often when I'm asked this question, I compare it to hoeing weeds. I just can't wrap my brain around the principle of hoeing weeds! I do understand that we need to get rid of those weeds, or they will overtake our yards, and then some! But hoeing them only takes off the top of the weed. There's still a root system underneath the ground, and that root will grow thicker, fuller and bigger now that we have taken off its head ... and we'll have an even greater problem than we had before!

"The same is true with our beliefs, ideas, attitudes and habits. We must get back to the root cause. And then we must choose. Our choices are: 1) to still hang onto that old way of thinking, OR 2) to toss it out like yesterday's trash, and replace it with TRUTH!

"While this is not an easy process, especially since we are strong willed, independent and most often comfortable with what is familiar to us, it is possible. It depends on how bad we want it. How badly do we want change, even change for the better? What is priority in our lives, we will find time for. We will find a way.

"This is true not just with the poverty mentality that you're talking about, but it's true even with our health. I was literally forced into taking a step back and doing something on the offensive about my health. I've always wanted to "grow old gracefully." But there came an issue in my life (migraines) that caused me to re-work my thinking. At the same time I was developing migraines, I was also developing an allergy to drugs. While sitting in the allergist's office one day, I read a poster on his wall about the immune system. It fit right into my belief that God created our bodies to be healthy, and to ward off illnesses when they attack. And He gave us the "equipment" to do it. One of those things is our immune system. When the immune system has a glitch in it, that's when it loses it's ability to ward off that which would make us sick.

"Long story made short, I realized that I needed to take the pain medicines the doctor was prescribing, when the migraine hit. But I also realized that while those drugs were getting rid of the symptoms, they were doing nothing about getting rid of the root cause of those migraines. And just like those root systems that I talked about above, the root cause of the migraines needed to be dealt with. That's when I started going on the offensive with my health.

"And a change in my thinking processes and belief system was necessary to carry it out. Are nutritional supplements and foods expensive? Yes! But I'd much rather spend my money on supplements that KEEP me healthy, than on drugs to GET me healthy. It's taken a while to get to this place, but most times now I don't even have to medicate it when I get a headache!

"This principle of change is crucial to our lives! Freedom without responsibility equals chaos ... and chaos is what has happened in our minds and in our bodies of late. For more information on this subject, please see "Duct Tape for the Christian Mouth." 

Those are my thoughts, what are yours?

Tate Publishers, or wherever books are sold

 

 

 

Why Do People Falter?

Available at Tate Publishing

Interview question asked of me: "Why do you think so many people tend to falter in their beliefs when times get tough?"

My answer: 

God gave us 5 senses … hearing, sight, taste, touch and smell. He gave us those abilities so that we could stay in touch with the world which He created for us to live in.  He also gave us His Spirit, so that we could stay in touch with Heaven. He also had to create us with an awesome power, called the power of choice. (That’s another story for another writing! ;o}) In our self-willed, self-centered, independent nature, we have grown into a state of becoming more and more “dependent” upon our five senses, and less and less dependent on God’s Holy Spirit. What we can hear, see, taste, feel and smell has become more real to us than what cannot be detected by those five senses.  The world has become more and more dominant in our lives, than what comes after this fleshly life is over.  Worldly “reality,” instead of spiritual “truth.” That which we are used to depending upon (the world), fails us when traumas and tragedies strike because what has not been developed in our lives(spiritual relationship with God), is then not as obvious to be found when those hard times hit. It’s like exercise. Exercise strengthens the physical body, and then when that strength is needed, it has already been developed. Without even a moderate amount of movement (exercise), that strength would not be there when we need it. It’s the same way spiritually and emotionally.

Yet, there’s still something within each of us that’s crying out for the spiritual. We see it all over the place in this day and age, especially through the entertainment industry. There are more ghost chasing stories, more stories about mediums and the like, more stories about spiritual powers, on TV and in the movies today than ever before. The problem is that God (and we) has an enemy; he’s the father of lies. He’s the one who deceived Eve all the way back in the Garden of Eden so many years ago, and he’s still around today trying to deceive anyone who will listen. And through his deception, who God really is and what He will or won’t do, gets twisted in our minds and hearts. It’s so critical that we know where any spiritual “power” comes from, so that we do not fall into that deception. Because guess what? That deception will also fail us in times of need. 

God is the only One who sustains. I’m aware that many go through tough situations without the knowledge of His existence, but truthfully, I don’t know how they do it. Without Him and His real and active presence in my life, I would not be here writing these words. There’s absolutely nothing like a touch on your mind and/or heart by God when you’re at your deepest, darkest point. Circumstances may or may not change, but you surely will.

"Drunk-orexia" - A Disease?

This morning on MSNBC News there was a discussion about the new, up-and-coming "disease" called "drunk-orexia." Drunk-orexia is when a person goes on a binge drinking spree, and then does not eat properly in order to balance off the caloric intake consumed through the alcohol.  The person may not eat at all, or they may eat only junk foods just to keep something in their stomach. The discussion involved this activity becoming a significant concern on college campuses these days. The "expert" being interviewed said that the practice has been going on for a long time, but is once again coming to the forefront on college campuses. This activity is a social malady, participated in partially because young people just don't know what to do with their new-found freedom. They want to be a part of their social group, while still maintaining their thin body forms and weight. 

Drunk-orexia ... a new one on me. I've heard of "anorexia" (an eating disorder) and a lot of other "rexias," but "drunk-orexia" is new to my ears and basic foundational knowledge.  I'm not sure what's worse: that this activity is occurring, or that it's occurring so frequently that we have had to put a name to it! Granted, it's been a long time since I was in college, and drinking was not new to us during those youthful years. But binge drinking followed by starvation was unheard of back then. 

I'm concerned about the label: "disease." As far as I know, diseases don't come all wrapped up in a socially appealing bottle. How easy it would be to eliminate societies maladies if that were the case. No, I believe the problem goes much deeper than that. And I also believe that it will continue to get worse unless we get all the way back to the root cause of the problem.

We do what we do because we believe what we believe.  Self-esteem and a balanced sense of self-respect is at the core of the issue. Now, I'm fully aware that emotional issues can drastically affect our physical bodies. And what once started out to be a social, fun activity, can end up in the vice grip of addiction and self-degradation. But if we don't get back to the root cause of this, we will never conquer it.

Our teenage years are often the most confusing and puzzling years of our lives. Somewhere between the times when we enjoyed playing with Tonka trucks and baby dolls, to the times when we are entrenched in career responsibilities and raising our own families, something happened. In those brief eight years of life we grew up. Or at least teens think they did.  A strong, firm foundation is absolutely essential ... before they get to the place of having to become involved in drunk-orexia activities just to be accepted by their peers.  

The problem runs deep into our psyche. Human beings, especially teens and pre-teens, need structure and discipline. They need to know that they have value and worth, and that their lives have meaning and purpose. I believe that once their feet are firmly planted on a solid foundation of balance in this, they are far less likely to develop this drunk-orexia "disease," and far more likely to have some real, non-life-threatening fun. As parents, teachers, Sunday School teachers, youth group leaders, mentors, counselors and case workers (and anyone else who works with youth), we have an amazing and awesome opportunity to help our children and our teens to grow into a positive, productive, healthy, and Godly life pathway.

Those are my thoughts, what are yours?

Boot Camps for Troubled Teens

For more info, click here

As an author of a behavioral management program for troubled teens, I'm always doing on line research on the subject. Quite often I come across blogs and websites about boot camp type programs. As a former Texas Youth Commission employee, who was assigned to work at their now closed boot camp, I take a vested interest in these type of programs.  This evening I came across a blog (click here to read the blog) written on boot camps in general, and being an advocate, I responded. Here is my response:

"I am an advocate for boot camp programs for troubled teens … at least in general … because I worked for one that I considered to be one of the best. It was a Texas Youth Commission facility.

"I was the community relations coordinator at the boot camp, and as such, part of my responsibilities included the social aspects of youth rehabilitation. I had constant contact with the youth, as well as the staff responsible for their daily care. Our staff, while not perfect in every respect, was the absolute best! We did not yell or scream at the youth, as has been generally associated with boot camps, and as has been referred to in your article above. Our program was based on structure, discipline and respect.

"While it was not my “job,” part of my “goal” became to instill within any of our youth who would listen, a sense of value and self-worth. Their lives had meaning and purpose. And once they grasped hold of that concept, they could begin to understand that they were selling themselves short through their actions. No program will “reach” every youth participant, and some at our boot camp did not receive this possibility either. But how great it was when one of them did!

"Human beings need structure and discipline, troubled teens notwithstanding. Some of them knew absolutely nothing about this concept until coming to our facility. As the community relations coordinator, another part of my job was to be the liaison between the facility and the surrounding communities. As such, I have received and entertained many questions from the public about this boot camp idea and philosophy of yelling, screaming and in general, military behavior. Yes, we wore uniforms. And yes, it most definitely was a “yes, sir” “no, sir” atmosphere. What’s wrong with that? To me, ma’am and sir are indicative of respect, and I see nothing wrong with teaching respect. In fact, the question becomes … just how do you teach a youth who has been entrenched in negative lifestyles and inappropriate behavior, to learn how to respect others? You show them! So not only were our youth expected to be respectful towards staff, but staff was respectful to them as well. I, for one, called them “sir” in my communication with them!

'Many of the youth left our facility with whole new outlooks on life, and hope for their futures. So, yes … I’m a teen boot camp advocate!

"Jane E. Harber, author
“Quit Digging! A Lifeline of Hope for Troubled Teens"

Those are my thoughts. What are yours?

The Breath of Life

Wherever books are sold

Have you ever been compared to a balloon? Me neither. Until this morning ...

We have a time for children during our Sunday morning worship. This morning, before church, a young one gave my pastor a balloon.  So, of course he brought it into the sermon. He held it up before the congregation, and asked one of the kids sitting beside him what was inside that balloon. She answered, "Nothing!" "Are you sure?" asked the pastor. "Yep." "There's nothing inside this balloon?" "Nope." "How about air? Is there air inside this balloon?" "Ohhhh, yes!!!" was the resounding reply. "Where did that air come from?" he asked. "It came from God," a little boy answered. After pulling himself together, the pastor laughed as he explained, "Yes, it's God's air, but it came from your mouth. Right?"

Strange how our minds work, but as all this was going on up at the altar, I was thinking about the air in that balloon.  I thought about how it made that balloon look. With no air in the balloon, the balloon is flat as a pancake.  With air in it, it had life. Big, bouncy, fun. Made me think about us.

God created the world, and everything in it. Then He created humanity. He took the dust of the earth and worked with it much the same as a potter works with clay. He molded it, fashioned it, and formed it, and the final result was a man, whom He called Adam.  But Adam, even though he now had a body, did not yet have life. It wasn't until God breathed into him the breath of life, that Adam came alive. Kind of like that balloon. It existed, it was. But not until that young boy blew air into it, did it become a toy to be played with.

Bet you thought that was the end of the story, right? Nope. Take that same balloon and instead of blowing your own air into it, fill it with helium instead. What happens then? Suddenly that balloon has new life! Now that balloon can fly! Let go of the string, and that balloon will rise as far as it can go, if you happen to be inside. And it will fly as far as the eye can see, if you happen to be outside. New life.

That's what the Holy Spirit of God does for us and in us. We are born. But when we become Christians, the Holy Spirit breathes new life into us, and we become born again. No, we did not return to our mother's womb. The new birth I speak of here is spiritual. We ask for, and are given, forgiveness for our wrong doings, and we accept the truth of what Jesus has done for us. We accept His gift and invite Him to live in our hearts and guide our lives. He brings with Him one of the most awesome gifts we will ever receive ... that of the Holy Spirit. New life is breathed into the very core of our being, and every fiber of our being is renewed and rejuvenated.

At the moment of conception, we are kind of like that flat balloon. When we are born, God breathes that breath of life into our lungs, and we are alive ... similar to the balloon blown up by that little child.  But then, the most amazing thing happens when we become Christians. New life, given by the power and grace of the Holy Spirit ... and through that new life, we can fly as far as the eye can see!

The Biblical View of Grief & Depression

Xulon Press

Even today, many years after the initial writing of "One Foot on a Banana Peel," medical professionals are still "discussing" the difference (and IF there even is one) between grief and depression. "How long should a patient be 'allowed' to grieve before it is considered to be a depressive episode?" "Should the grieving person be medicated, or not?" (Click here to read one blog on this subject. There are many others out there.) While this subject seems to be on the "hot seat" in today's psychological blogs, I have yet to see anyone writing about how the Bible views the topic.

The Bible uses the word grief in a much broader sense than solely intense personal sadness. “To the Hebrew writers, the importance of grief was not its psychological effect upon the individual. Grief was important to them because it is a response to the troubles of a fallen world.” (Nelson’s Illustrated Bible Dictionary, copyright 1986, Thomas Nelson Publishers, pg. 446) The Lord Himself grieved over the sinfulness of His human creation. Ezekiel was groaning with broken heart and bitter grief as a prophetic sign of impending judgment. Isaiah’s grief (in Isaiah 17: 10, 11) was over those who had forgotten who God is. And grief, the Bible says, is the normal response to the trouble caused by one’s enemies. 

Sin is another Biblical cause for grief. Luke, chapter 15 tells the story about a prodigal son. Through this example, we see that physical death is not the only form of death.  Personalities can “die.” Have you ever seen a child whose personality changed drastically, maybe due to the use of drugs or alcohol? It may have even seemed like it happened almost overnight! Pre-marital sex can have the same strong reaction, especially in a young teen who has not yet developed the emotional capability to handle emotional responsibility. This is basically the same thing that happened to the young man. (Luke 15: 11-32) Obviously this young son was not dead physically. But who he was, his whole personality, his spirit and soul, had literally “died” because of his sin. This is what happened to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, and it’s what happens to each one of us when we sin. Our own personal sin causes us deeply felt grief, and sin in our lives causes “death,” which means we are separated from God. This death, this spiritual separation from God, causes grief.

Another reason for Biblical grief is when we grieve for others. Jesus wept. Not for Himself, but for those who should have known Him, but didn’t. Paul had “great sorrow and unceasing grief in his heart” for his brethren in the flesh who had not become his brethren in the Spirit. A pastor once told me that the majority of prayer requests he receives are concerning health issues. Paul had a desire and “burden” for the salvation of others … what happened to ours? Where did it go?

Job’s three friends grieved and mourned so much at what they saw, that they sat with him for seven days and nights in silence before they even spoke. Their heartache at seeing their friend suffer so, caused them to look for answers to fix the situation. They were barking up the wrong tree, obviously. But they kept grasping at whatever straw that entered their mind anyway, trying to find reasons for Job’s afflictions so that somehow the situation could be remedied. Who among us hasn’t done so? 

Esther was one whose grief for others was deeply felt.  Her story is told in the Book of Esther. Esther’s king was about to destroy the Jews, her people. Esther grieved over this, but she had a big problem. It seems the king had the power and authority to either dismiss her, or have her killed if she interfered or intervened in any way. Yet, her grief for her people would not be assuaged. So, her grief for her people caused her to put her life on the line for them.  She fasted first, and then went to see the king. By the grace of God, Esther found favor before the king, and was able to save her people from his decree. While we know it was an act of God’s mercy, it was through Esther’s grief and prayers for her people that they were saved.

On a more positive note, one more Biblical perspective on causes for grief, is that of “longing.” In this context, the longing is for God … longing to know Him better, in a deeper, more intimate manner than we ever have before. Longing to be filled with His Spirit, and have our thirst for Him quenched. Longing to know His Word and His ways.  We see David’s obvious heart for knowing the Lord, His ways and His word, in Psalm 119. David seeks to know the Lord.  With all of his heart, his mind and his body, he desires to know and walk in the ways of the Lord. Verse 20 finds David’s soul “crushed with longing” after the ordinances of the Lord. Verse 25 reveals that David’s soul “cleaves to the dust,” and he asks the Lord to revive him according to His word. Verse 28 states that David’s “soul weeps with grief,” and he asks God to strengthen him. David also zealously seeks after the salvation of the Lord, and he waits on the Lord to fulfill that desire. His soul “fails with longing” for the word of the Lord. All of that takes place in verses 81 and 82.

It's important to know how God sees grief.  In this day and age, we are inundated with sound and visuals from the entertainment industry which indicate how people react to trauma and tragedy. Once this "picture" is in our minds, far too many of us come to believe it.  And then when negative circumstances invade our own lives, we react in much the same manner.  We need something far more stable than the entertainment industry to lean on when trauma and tragedy hits us hard. We need strength from God and guidance from His Word.

My Hero

Tate Publishers

I love King David. Next to Jesus, David is my favorite Biblical character. He’s the one I want to see next after Jesus when I get to Heaven. He’s the one whose hand I want to shake. I want to tell King David how much his life has touched my own. You see, I relate to David’s writings in the Psalms. Friends relate to Job, Peter … you may relate to a different Biblical character. I relate to David.

David is my hero. He was a man after God’s own heart. David had an awesome relationship with God, and because of that relationship he had faith enough to slay a bear, a lion and a nine-foot-tall giant. It is said that David was a very young man when he accomplished these tasks, probably in his early teens. Yet he knew who he was, and Whose he was. He was a shepherd at the time he slew Goliath. He tended to the few sheep his father owned. Still, he knew in Whose army he fought; “… for who is this uncircumcised Philistine, that he should defy the armies of the living God?” (I Samuel 17: 26) David was well aware that no power could defeat his God. “Thou comest to me with a sword and with a spear and with a shield: but I come to thee in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom thou has defied.” (I Samuel 17: 45) Then he picked up five smooth stones, and with one of them, he slew the giant who caused the whole of Samuel’s armies to tremble in fear.

Yet as close as David was to the heart of God, he still made mistakes. Some of those mistakes were serious, and horrendous consequences followed them. Throughout the course of his lifetime, whether by fault or by persecution David had many times and instances of intense trepidation, causing him to cry out to God in great distress. He wasn’t afraid or ashamed to voice his concerns to God, either. Yet somehow, somewhere deep inside of him, David knew. He knew who God was. He knew God’s power and majesty. He knew God’s might. When he cried out to God, his grievances never had a period (.) at the end of them. They always had a comma (,). The end of the sentence (prayer, i.e. psalm) never came until after David acknowledged who God is. David’s heart felt pain, and even death. He struggled much of the time while he was walking through his “valley of the shadow of death.” However through it all, he always ended his cries by acknowledging God’s presence, as well as His authority, in any given situation that he happened to be experiencing at the time. David knew … the Lord is God!

David struggled, as have I. In my own life, I, too, have cried out to God with heartfelt tears. I’ve known David’s tears and I’ve known David’s fears. I’ve known his defeats and his victories. I relate to David. And like David, I’ve also known the majesty, power and authority of God’s mighty presence in my life. Again like David, I can say, “Oh God, Thou are my God.” It’s in recognizing who God is, and His presence, power and authority to sustain us as we walk through the “valley of the shadow of death,” that times of refreshing come. It’s in acknowledging God’s life within us, that life comes to us.

Spiritual and Emotional Healing

Tate Publishing

One day as I was driving in my car, the Lord showed me a picture in my mind's eye. The picture was of me, standing there in my spiritual armor. There I was ... fully "dressed." I had on the helmet of salvation. My loins were girt about with truth. I had on the breastplate of righteousness. My feet were shod with the gospel of peace. I had the shield of faith in my left hand, and the sword of the Spirit in my right. I was decked out to the max!

It's the shield of faith that I'd like to tell you about here. At that time, I noticed two things about my shield. One was that it was full of arrows. God's enemy and ours, Satan, had thrown many "arrows" my way. This shield ... faith ... stopped them from reaching me. I was grateful beyond words to my Lord for this wonderful gift of faith.

The second thing I noticed was not so good. That shield, as wonderful as it was, was very small. At that point in time, I didn't give this detail a second thought. I just went about my business and drove to wherever it was I was going.

However, in later years the Holy Spirit brought this vision back to my memory. Specifically, He caused me to focus on the size of that shield. I began to think that perhaps there were MORE arrows shot my way. Maybe some had gotten past the shield because it was so small. Maybe it didn't catch all of them. I wondered about all the arrows that had gotten past that small shield ... where did they all go?

What's the purpose of a shield? Where is it located on our bodies and what does it protect? Well, we carry it ... therefore it resides in our hands. When an arrow is shot at us, we protect the vital parts of our bodies with this shield ... our head (mind) and chest (heart). Those arrows that made it past that shield had lodged themselves in my MIND and in my EMOTIONS!

Once I realized this truth, the Holy Spirit reminded me of the Scripture that talks about removing the log from our own eye so we can help remove the speck that is in our brother's eye. (Luke 6: 42) For a split second in time, I wondered what that Scripture had to do with arrows shot past a shield. Then the "light" came on ... and I knew. Just as we must remove the log from our eye, so it is that we must remove the arrows from our mind and emotions! When we get a splinter in our finger, it must be removed. If it's not removed, it stays under the skin and eventually begins to fester. The same thing happens with those wiles of the enemy that have been shot at us and get past our shield of faith. Those arrows "fester" in our minds and in our emotions. In order for our minds and emotions to be healed, they must be removed!

Those are my thoughts. What are yours?