Just For Today

At this time of year, many people are making New Year's resolutions. You also see many who are regretting that they never completed LAST YEAR'S resolutions. So, since God doesn't promise us tomorrow, why not try decluttering your life from anger, frustration, bitterness, and other negative, hurtful emotions that seem to build up so quickly into mountains that seem unconquerable. Here's how:

JUST FOR TODAY, block that frustration which comes from the little things, like annoying porn text messages, frustrating fb game requests, recorded phone sales pitches (in recent months I've gotten more than 50 of these calls just telling me I need a security system on my home. That's not counting the recorded calls I've received for sales pitches for other products. And it's not to mention those I get asking for my vote during political seasons!) Let go of that irritation you feel when somebody pulls in front of you to take that parking space that you've been waiting for, and on and on. JUST FOR TODAY, refuse to entertain those little things that you can do nothing about. Refuse to give place in your mind to those annoying little things that even reporting them to the authorities doesn't help. 

JUST FOR TODAY, take all the time and energy you spend on those annoyances that would threaten to ruin your day, and think about your priorities instead. What's important to you? What's the most important thing on your list to accomplish TODAY? Forget about the minor irritations. They're holding you back from accomplishing that one little thing that would turn out to be a life changer for you or for someone else. All this, JUST FOR TODAY. 

If you falter, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back to trying all over again. God doesn't promise us tomorrow, but you'll be amazed at how much extra time you'll have on your hands today, and what can happen in your life if those little annoyances are disregarded.

You want peace in the world? It begins with YOU! One day at a time.

Are Grieving and Depression Related?

Absolutely! They are related, but not necessarily the same thing. I've seen many blogs and on-line articles lately about the difference between grief and depression, and I do recognize and understand that grief & depression can have a wide range of causes, symptoms and stages. Grief or depression can extend from an ordinary case of the "blahs," to life-impairing, life-threatening depressive episodes for which medication is necessary. Obviously, there's a difference between those two examples. However, grief is not solely caused by the death of a loved one, nor is "death" solely related to the physical cessation of life. There are as many causes for grief as there are people in the world and negative things for us to experience. Having been through the deaths of seventeen immediate family members and close friends, I found that the tragic events that were occurring in LIFE, were just as devastating. The symptoms and stages of grief and depression can be very similar, and the treatment can be the same as well.

In addition, with all the articles I read about the difference between grief & depression, if there is one ... how long should a person be "allowed" to grieve before it is considered a major depressive episode, etc ... not one article that I've seen addressed the Biblical view of grief. (See "The Biblical View of Grief & Depression" here in this blogspot for a description of how God sees grief.) We see many "descriptions" of how we "should" feel & behave after a traumatic event, via the entertainment industry. I believe we need something way more stable than the entertainment industry to help us make it through the aftereffects of a tragedy. We need God. And His Word.

Grief and depression are not easy maladies to work through. Although healing is possible, restoration may not be. If, for example, your loved one has passed on, or if a tornado or hurricane has destroyed your home and worldly possessions, the restoration of those people and things are not possible. But you CAN be healed. And it IS possible to grow from these situations, and even to have good come out of them. Nothing can change what has already occurred in the past. But the important thing to remember is that it's possible to remove the "sting" out of the past, so that it no longer has control over your future! Maybe even to the point that it then becomes a testimony!

Grieving Through the Holidays

It's that time of year again. Time for joy, holiday parties, gift giving and receiving. Time to worship the One whose birth we celebrate. It's also the time you feel grief so strongly, because the one you love has passed on. Or you lost your job. Or that fire or tornado or hurricane has destroyed all your worldly goods. Or maybe you have recently been diagnosed with a deadly disease. This is the time of year when everyone's happy, right? But you're not. You're in pain.

So, what is it that you can do? How can you get through these holiday celebrations without losing your mind, or having a breakdown ... or worse yet, becoming a hermit? Well, the very first thing you need to do is suck in that next breath of air!  Force it out, and then do it all over again!

The purpose of this blog is not to go through all the causes, symptoms and stages of the grieving process. You already know those, because you're experiencing them as we speak.  The purpose of this blog is to bring encouragement and hope to you through this holiday season.  To share some information with you that could help you get past the pain, and onto healing ... despite those emotions that make you want to hide from the world.

I read a book once called "A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows Through Loss," by Gerald Sitser. Mr. Sitser had experienced his own grievous trauma, and, therefore, was knowledgeable about what he wrote. On page 138, Mr. Sitser made this comment: "Sorrow itself needs the existence of God to validate it as a healthy and legitimate emotion. If there is no God, it makes no difference how we respond. It becomes entirely subjective, like individual tastes in ice cream. If sorrow is subjective, and it doesn't matter how we respond, then why not laugh at tragedy, loss and depression? How do we establish the absoluteness of good vs. bad, anyway? And where did we get the idea of "good" and "bad" in the first place? People feel pain in suffering because suffering is bad. We know this because we have knowledge of what is good. Such knowledge can only come from God."

Following Mr. Sitser's logic leads us to another point: denial of our negative emotions will only keep us in bondage to them for a longer period of time. We must acknowledge their existence. And then we must make a conscious choice to put them in their proper place.  In other words, throw those negative, painful emotions out like yesterday's trash. How? How is that possible? By making a conscious choice to acknowledge and grasp hold of the fact that even through the painful emotions, hope exists. Hope for healing. Tragedy is designed to defeat and destroy us. So, is healing possible? It depends on what you believe! And on what you do about hope! Grieve ... but never without hope.

Grief will destroy us, or it will transform us ... but it will never leave us the same. Our lives will never be the same as they were before the tragic event. But we can move on. And it can be a healthy, positive, productive, and most of all Godly, growth and change. Here are some practical suggestions that will help you overcome grief, especially as you progress through this holiday season:

1)  Prepare yourself. The Bible tells us in Proverbs 4: 23 to "guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."
2) Get a moderate amount of exercise. Exercise has been known to reduce stress.
3) Pay attention to your diet. Stick to the good stuff. Cut down on refined sugar, white flour products, caffeine, nicotine and anything else that is harmful to your body.
4) Get proper rest, as well as a good amount of sleep.
5) Talk to someone. There's healing power in sharing your burdens with someone.
6) Keep a journal of your thoughts, feelings, prayers and answers to prayer. Later, you'll be able to look back and see how much progress you have made.

Make a conscious choice to grab onto the hope of healing. Then take some positive steps in that direction. And don't forget to pat yourself on the back ... because even the smallest of steps is a major accomplishment!

Is It REALLY Racial Profiling?

I don't get it. Keep in mind as you read this post, that I'm probably the least political person you know. Another thing about me ... I'm not prejudiced.  I don't like labels and putting people in "boxes."  So when you're talking about racial profiling, I'm just not on board.  I was raised in a mixed neighborhood, so I just have "people" inbred into me, not the color of their skin.  Oh, I'm well aware that the first thing you see when you meet a new person, is whether that person is male or female. And it's also quite obvious what the color of their skin is. But to me, neither their sex nor the color of their skin means much in terms of who they are as a person. It's who they are as an individual person that's important.  Now, I've known people who just could not understand that. And then I've also known people of a different skin color than mine, who totally got it. They were raised that way too!

So, I'm having a hard time wrapping my brain around the problem along the United States/Mexico border. Illegal immigrants. Problems with the drug cartels. And why the big cry is racial profiling.  I mean, doesn't it make common sense that if the problem is along the Mexican/United States border, it would involve Mexican illegals? People from the Hispanic race, who are raised in Mexico, who have not obtained legal admission to the United States? You probably wouldn't find too many German illegals coming across that border. Or Africans. We don't have trouble with illegals along the United States/Canadian border, do we? Or did I miss that news story? I don't think so! But if we did, the problem would then involve Canadian illegals. What other country directly borders ours? None! So is it really racial profiling? Or is it just something else to protest about?

Now, I'm all for protesting when something is wrong.  But in this case, what is it about the word "illegal" that we are not understanding?  You know, when you're a rancher in this part of the "woods," and you see a bunch of people who don't normally belong there, hiking across your ranch carrying semi-automatic weapons ... it's time to do something! And it doesn't matter what the color of their skin is! We're hearing news stories all the time lately about people being killed along that border ... and all the protesters can worry about is racial profiling?!? That just doesn't make sense to me!

Besides the fact that I've lived in the United States all my life ... and besides the fact that I now live in Texas ... do you know what really brought this travisty "home" to me? Watching one of the news stories on television one day, I saw an interview with a woman of a different nationality who had become a citizen of our country. This woman worked very hard to achieve this most important goal.  Her reaction to all the news stories about illegal aliens, as well as the new laws recently passed in Arizona concerning how the authorities were to deal with them, was that she was offended! And not for the reasons you might think! Her statement was that she worked hard to get where she was, and she was "offended" that we would allow others to have the same rights and life styles without having to work for them like she had to. I for one, don't blame her!

It's no wonder we have problems. We allow ourselves to be side-tracked from the real issues, with some issues other than the ones that need dealing with. People are losing their lives. Somehow it seems that should be the priority! The issue of racial profiling may have substance elsewhere, but it shouldn't be the priority in dealing with the issues we are currently having along the United States/Mexico border.

Those are my thoughts. What are yours?

Why Do People Falter?

Available at Tate Publishing

Interview question asked of me: "Why do you think so many people tend to falter in their beliefs when times get tough?"

My answer: 

God gave us 5 senses … hearing, sight, taste, touch and smell. He gave us those abilities so that we could stay in touch with the world which He created for us to live in.  He also gave us His Spirit, so that we could stay in touch with Heaven. He also had to create us with an awesome power, called the power of choice. (That’s another story for another writing! ;o}) In our self-willed, self-centered, independent nature, we have grown into a state of becoming more and more “dependent” upon our five senses, and less and less dependent on God’s Holy Spirit. What we can hear, see, taste, feel and smell has become more real to us than what cannot be detected by those five senses.  The world has become more and more dominant in our lives, than what comes after this fleshly life is over.  Worldly “reality,” instead of spiritual “truth.” That which we are used to depending upon (the world), fails us when traumas and tragedies strike because what has not been developed in our lives(spiritual relationship with God), is then not as obvious to be found when those hard times hit. It’s like exercise. Exercise strengthens the physical body, and then when that strength is needed, it has already been developed. Without even a moderate amount of movement (exercise), that strength would not be there when we need it. It’s the same way spiritually and emotionally.

Yet, there’s still something within each of us that’s crying out for the spiritual. We see it all over the place in this day and age, especially through the entertainment industry. There are more ghost chasing stories, more stories about mediums and the like, more stories about spiritual powers, on TV and in the movies today than ever before. The problem is that God (and we) has an enemy; he’s the father of lies. He’s the one who deceived Eve all the way back in the Garden of Eden so many years ago, and he’s still around today trying to deceive anyone who will listen. And through his deception, who God really is and what He will or won’t do, gets twisted in our minds and hearts. It’s so critical that we know where any spiritual “power” comes from, so that we do not fall into that deception. Because guess what? That deception will also fail us in times of need. 

God is the only One who sustains. I’m aware that many go through tough situations without the knowledge of His existence, but truthfully, I don’t know how they do it. Without Him and His real and active presence in my life, I would not be here writing these words. There’s absolutely nothing like a touch on your mind and/or heart by God when you’re at your deepest, darkest point. Circumstances may or may not change, but you surely will.

Survival of the Fittest; Surviving in this Financially-Driven Society

Surviving in this financially-driven society has become quite a feat. A long time ago, I made a conscious choice. I decided that I never wanted to be rich. I wanted to be able to "make it," ie: pay my bills, and have a little left over for the extras that I'd like to do or have. But I didn't want to be wealthy. The reason? Because I wanted to be liked or not liked, as the case may be, for who I was ... not for what I had.

There's a story told in Luke 15: 11 - 32, about a young man who was disheartened with his life at home. We don’t know the details of this young man’s growing up years or the reasons behind his displeasure and malcontent. We don’t know what type of personality his family members had or what type of personality he had. But because of what happened next, we do have a basic understanding of his family’s financial status. The young man wanted to leave home, so he went to his father and asked him for his inheritance. His father, operating out of wisdom that we are hard-pressed to understand until later on in the story, went along with his son’s request. The son then took that inheritance, left the “confines” of his home and family, and went to a faraway place.

It wasn’t long before the son was in trouble. He spent all his money on riotous living, and while he did so, he was deluged with friends. But soon the inheritance was gone, and because of that, his so-called "friends" left him as well. It so happened at about that same time, that the land he was living in began to experience a disastrous famine. Food was scarce. This prodigal son had no money left,  and no friends around to help him. So he was forced to seek employment. A neighborly citizen of the land hired him and sent him out to feed his pigs. The prodigal son, who once lived “high on the hog,” was now reduced to feeding them.

There have been times in my life when I regretted making that earlier decision about my finances ... especially because it turned out to be exactly what happened in my life. The good part is that I have been blessed with friends. True friends. Real friends. Friends who have been with me through thick and thin. Friends who cared enough to care for me, and care about me. Friends who have not hesitated to confront me when I needed it, and friends who have had enough courage and compassion to put their arm around my shoulder when I needed comfort. And ... friends who have not run in the opposite direction because I had financial needs.

The seemingly not-so-good part is that I've lived most of my life from paycheck to paycheck. Those of you who are struggling in this current recession, understand what that means. There have been many times when I have wondered whether we were going to make it or not. This concern was exacerbated greatly because I have an inbred craving to get my bills paid on time, to keep my good credit standing, and to get out of debt. It was tough when the money ran out before the month did. But somehow we always had a roof over our heads, food on the table and clothes on our backs.

Because of the famine in the land, there soon came a time when there was not much for that young lad to eat. Eventually, he became so hungry that he considered eating the food he was giving to the pigs. Later, we will go on with the end of the story. But for now let’s examine just what it was that put this young man … and us … into the position of having to eat from a pigsty.

There is a saying in this world, “The grass is always greener on the other side.” It seems like somebody else always has “it” better. They have more fun than we do … or more money … or more laughs … or a bigger house … or a better car. Their kids behave better than ours … everybody likes them better … or they go on more vacations. They’ve got it easy, we’ve got it tough. Life is just passing us by. It seems like many people are discontent with their lives, just like that prodigal son. With the entrance of sin into the world, our relationship and communion with God was severed. We became separated from our Heavenly Father. At this occurrence, a vacuum was created — a hole, if you will – in our beings. We were no longer complete and whole; we were apart from the presence of God. So our self-nature filled in the gap. Instead of God being the center of our beings, self took the place. And with self on the throne, down we went.

The prodigal son’s experience personifies what we all go through. Self-nature becomes dominant, and selfishness is the outcome. Just as this young man, we want our part … and we want it now! The sensual lifestyle looks good, but we are blind to the realization that all that glitters is not gold. Focusing on the fleshly desires, our spiritual lives have become impoverished. When that happens, we generally hit the bottom of the barrel in self-degradation, humiliation, corruption, and disgrace. We have become “starved.” We have become blind to the truth that this fleshly life is but a wisp, a vapor that vanishes away after a short period of time. We have forgotten that soon we will be facing eternity, for our spirits will live on forever. This self-degradation … this separation … is something we may or may not even realize, depending upon whether our face is literally in the “pigsty,” or the stigma is spiritual and character related. In either case, we’ve all been there.

All that may look pretty bleak to you, but there is hope! As he came face-to-face with the food in that pigsty, a realization came to the prodigal son … the realization of what he had left behind. His father had servants, and they were eating better than him! He was dying of starvation, yet his very own father could restore him to life. All he had to do was go home! Once this unmistakable insight hit him, he immediately knew what he had to do. He decided that he would go to his father and admit his sin. The lad knew that because of his sin he was no longer worthy to be thought of as a son. So he would ask his dad to hire him on as one of the servants! Food, clothing, and shelter would once again be his, not to mention the fact that his life would be spared.

The prodigal son had an awakening, an awareness and conscious knowledge of his fragile position in life. He also had a revelation about what he needed to do in order for his life to be spared. One more thing he had at that point, which he did not realize that he possessed the moment before, was a choice. He knew where he was and knew what he had to do to get out of the mess he was in. Now he had a choice; he could do what was necessary (repent and go home), or abstain from action and stay like he was.

I've been faced with that same choice. While I've never had my face literally in a pigsty (thank God!), I've had to change the way I was doing things; change the way I handled my finances. Change details such as the way I grocery shopped, or the amount of clothes or household items I bought. Change the amount of cable channels I have had. But through the years, we've always had a roof over our heads, food on our table and clothes on our backs.  Looking back at some of those times in my life, I have no idea how we made it through those financial droughts. Well, yes I do. It was a God thing for sure.

I've also had to repent many times for my lack of trust and for my worrying. And I've had to get some priorities straight. Sometimes we can't see the forest for the trees ... and my financial life was like that. Now I've lived long enough to be able to look back on some things. And I can tell you in all honesty that it's God who sustains me. God is real, He's alive and He's a good God. And He cares about His children ... even their financial states.  We have all been separated from Him, as was the prodigal son separated from his father.  But we, too, have the same choice in life. We can repent and return to the Father. And place even our finances in His most capable hands, using wisdom from His Word to conduct our financial matters. And when we do, we will be among the "fittest."

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Your Heart is NOT Your Friend!

There came an issue of grief at one point in my life. I did the best I could to override the pain with prayer and reading and quoting comforting Scriptures. As I battled, a simple yet very profound thought came to me that I believe might help others as well. That morning I discovered that my heart is not my friend. Now, I know that sounds strange. But just for a minute, try to follow me in this: my heart wants to remember and feel the pain of child rebellion, my own as well as my children's. My heart almost constantly remembers and feels the pain of widowhood and having been alone for so many years. Always at the wrong moment, my heart slams me with the pain of rejection and betrayal. And we could go on and on. My heart is not my friend. No friend wants you to remain captive and enslaved to painful experiences.

            The question is why? Why do our hearts want to remember and feel such hurt? And the answer is…so it will never happen again! It’s the heart’s defense mechanism, so to speak, to remember everything that went sour in our lives so that we won’t fall into that same trap again. Remember this? Remember that? Remember how it felt? Our hearts don’t want to be hurt anymore, so they throw up walls of protection against being hurt again. We could give these walls names…anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, fear, to mention just a few. These things stand in defense of our hurting hearts, making certain that we “never do that again!” One thing about those walls, though: they may protect the pain that our hearts hold so that we won’t be hurt again, but guess what else they do? They also provide a barrier against God’s blessings and keep them from getting in! This setup that our emotions have developed keeps us focused upon self, and the end result is that we become unable to receive God’s promises and blessings.

            I’m not the only one this happens to. More than likely, you have experienced something similar as well. Later that evening, I received a phone call from a friend who was also going through a hard time. As he spoke, I was praying, asking God for wisdom. When my friend asked, I explained what was happening to him was that his life was being “tilled up” right then. Before you can plant seeds, the soil needs to be prepared. It’s the same with us, especially emotionally. When God is about to bring new things into our lives or head our lives in a new direction, our emotions and thought processes need to be tilled up so we can get rid of the old and replace it with the new. You see, while my heart is not my friend, God is. He’s your friend as well. God does not want us to remain captive to those negative emotions that are so painful. He wants us to live by the grace and power of His Holy Spirit. He wants us to walk (live) by the Spirit, not the flesh. “Walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit,” He tells us in Romans 8:1-2. “For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.”

            God wants us to be more than conquerors. Why? Because as much as He loves us (and it can’t be emphasized enough here that Jesus loves each and every one of us, as individuals), there is something else just as important. There is a common good, or goal, as well. A purpose for being, if you will, which includes many more than just one individual. When we are in pain, it’s that pain we tend to concentrate on. Self becomes our focus. God wants…God needs…me (and you) to get past focusing on self and start focusing on the very important purpose for which He created us in the first place! Whether we realize it or not, God created everyone for a reason. You and I were each created for a purpose, and we have a mission to accomplish. Whatever that mission is for you, it’s an important assignment that no one else on earth can fulfill quite like you can. Focusing on the negative keeps self on the throne. Being stuck on self keeps us far removed from the goal, assignment, and purpose for which God created us. It keeps us far removed from others. The flip side of the coin is that focusing on our purpose for living keeps us focused on others. In focusing on others, our own pain subsides. There is no room left in our hearts for it.

            The greatest spiritual battle ever occurred in the garden of Gethsemane approximately two thousand years ago. On that evening, one Man, Jesus Christ, was on His knees before His Father, asking that this cup (this dreadful horror that Jesus knew He was about to experience) be taken from Him. Jesus didn’t want to suffer any more than we do. But He knew what was happening. He knew the purpose for which He was brought to earth to be born of woman and take on the form and flesh of man. He knew there was a great task at hand—salvation for all mankind—and He knew what had to be done in order to accomplish it. He didn’t want to suffer, but the bottom line for Him was that He wanted His Father’s will to be accomplished more than His own.

            Therein lies the heart of spiritual warfare. Trusting that the Father knows all that’s happening, that He’s in control of it all, and wanting His will to be done even when it doesn’t line up with our own. Even when it seems like the darkness of the night will never give way to the light of the dawn. Because there’s a greater good at stake. Jesus struggled so much with what He knew was coming…the suffering He was to endure…that He shed great drops of blood. Yet he relented. He submitted to His Father’s will. It is because of His great sacrifice that you and I can have times of refreshing. Our greatest spiritual warfare battles will follow in His footsteps. They will not occur on a battlefield; they will take place on our knees. And what will be happening is that we will be overthrowing the reign that self once had over us, so that others can take its place. That’s when we will amazingly discover that the greatest spiritual warfare battles are followed by the greatest times of refreshing. 

These are my thoughts ... what are yours?  

Tate Publishers

 

My Hero

Tate Publishers

I love King David. Next to Jesus, David is my favorite Biblical character. He’s the one I want to see next after Jesus when I get to Heaven. He’s the one whose hand I want to shake. I want to tell King David how much his life has touched my own. You see, I relate to David’s writings in the Psalms. Friends relate to Job, Peter … you may relate to a different Biblical character. I relate to David.

David is my hero. He was a man after God’s own heart. David had an awesome relationship with God, and because of that relationship he had faith enough to slay a bear, a lion and a nine-foot-tall giant. It is said that David was a very young man when he accomplished these tasks, probably in his early teens. Yet he knew who he was, and Whose he was. He was a shepherd at the time he slew Goliath. He tended to the few sheep his father owned. Still, he knew in Whose army he fought; “… for who is this uncircumcised Philistine, that he should defy the armies of the living God?” (I Samuel 17: 26) David was well aware that no power could defeat his God. “Thou comest to me with a sword and with a spear and with a shield: but I come to thee in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom thou has defied.” (I Samuel 17: 45) Then he picked up five smooth stones, and with one of them, he slew the giant who caused the whole of Samuel’s armies to tremble in fear.

Yet as close as David was to the heart of God, he still made mistakes. Some of those mistakes were serious, and horrendous consequences followed them. Throughout the course of his lifetime, whether by fault or by persecution David had many times and instances of intense trepidation, causing him to cry out to God in great distress. He wasn’t afraid or ashamed to voice his concerns to God, either. Yet somehow, somewhere deep inside of him, David knew. He knew who God was. He knew God’s power and majesty. He knew God’s might. When he cried out to God, his grievances never had a period (.) at the end of them. They always had a comma (,). The end of the sentence (prayer, i.e. psalm) never came until after David acknowledged who God is. David’s heart felt pain, and even death. He struggled much of the time while he was walking through his “valley of the shadow of death.” However through it all, he always ended his cries by acknowledging God’s presence, as well as His authority, in any given situation that he happened to be experiencing at the time. David knew … the Lord is God!

David struggled, as have I. In my own life, I, too, have cried out to God with heartfelt tears. I’ve known David’s tears and I’ve known David’s fears. I’ve known his defeats and his victories. I relate to David. And like David, I’ve also known the majesty, power and authority of God’s mighty presence in my life. Again like David, I can say, “Oh God, Thou are my God.” It’s in recognizing who God is, and His presence, power and authority to sustain us as we walk through the “valley of the shadow of death,” that times of refreshing come. It’s in acknowledging God’s life within us, that life comes to us.

Hope for Recovery

Xulon Press

I’m a licensed belief therapist, an author and speaker. All that came about because of a long bout with grief. There were 11 deaths of immediate family members in a short span of time, at the time I wrote my first book, “One Foot on a Banana Peel.” But there were also things happening in LIFE that took my breath away. Those were even more difficult, and could have destroyed me and my family. I found several interesting things during the time of research for this work. I was startled to find out how many people were suffering from grief and/or depression. Sooooo many! Another thing I was surprised at was that many believed that grief and depression are two totally separate entities. It was said that grief is only suffered at the death of a loved one. This is just not true, and it’s not Biblical either. I do realize that there can be a clinical depression that is deeper than “normal” (whatever “normal" is these days), but one thing I found out about this total separation between the two was that people were not able to connect with HOPE, or a recovery, because they didn’t know what it was they were dealing with! Knowing what the problem is, is half the battle … right? There IS hope! And there can be recovery! I’m living proof!

How & Why I Began Writing

“Would you like to move back to Iraan,” Jerry asked me. “Tommie & I have been praying about it ever since I made the decision to retire. We believe that now is the time, and God is calling us into full-time prison ministry. Do you want to join us?” I had been working with Jerry & Tommie in prison ministry ever since they started … 15 years, at that point. So, of course I said, “Yessss!!!”

So began a long series of events which led to writing my first book, “One Foot On A Banana Peel.” “One Foot…” is a description of grief and an expression of the hope and healing that lie beyond trauma and tragedy. The simple experience of moving in itself can be a cause for grief, and I’m not so sure I wasn’t actually experiencing some of those emotions at the time. I had been widowed in March of 1988. Raising two young children, working and moving three times during the course of those years ~ yes, I wanted to continue in prison ministry, but I was also sure I was feeling some “trauma” over the upcoming move.

Shortly after I moved back, Tommie came to me with an offer. She felt it was time to expand our ministry and move into the area of counseling in the “free-world,” (A term used by those in the prison system, referring to anyone who is not incarcerated). She asked if I wanted to join them in taking some courses. So, off we went to Crockett, Texas, to attend school at Therapon Institute, where we later became licensed belief therapists. During the course of our schooling, we had to write a 10-page paper on any subject for which a person might come to us for counseling. Up to that point, there had been 11 deaths of my immediate family members in about 7 or 8 years. So, it seemed appropriate for me to write on the topic of grief. My 10-page paper turned out to be 29 pages long! The Director of the Institute said it was a good work, and that I should turn it into a seminar. So, I spent the rest of that year and part of the next, writing and re-writing. Condensing and expanding. Dealing with life’s problems, and adding what I had learned to what I had already written. One major thing I learned in the process of all this, was that it seemed most people had the idea that grief only occurred when a loved one passed on. This is just NOT TRUE, nor is it Scriptural. There are a multitude of causes for grief, and there varying degrees of its intensity. Most of us experience it to one degree or another, and usually more than once during the course of our lifetimes. So, what about it … is there any hope?

Well, of course there is! And hope was what I wanted to share in the writing of that paper. Hope is still what I want to share. The hope that can come through even that long, dark tunnel of grief. The hope and healing that lie beyond trauma and tragedy. There have been many other trials, temptations and struggles in our lives since the deaths of all those family members, all of which produced symptoms and stages of he grief process in varying levels and degrees. Any one of these events could have had major destructive power in my life.

But the inspiration for the writing of “One Foot…” came to me one evening shortly after that when my sister (my only sibling) called to inform me that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer. My reaction to her dilemma surprised me. I was REALLY angry! I felt that ONE MORE TIME my hands were tied. Here was ONE MORE TRAGEDY that I could do nothing about. While I definitely do not have one foot on a banana peel and the other one in a grave, the reality of the situation was that I was too old to start over again … become a doctor so I can “fix” this situation, or begin in research to find a cure for cancer so my sister could be healed.

At some point during this tirade, I began to pray. It was while I was thinking about all these things and praying, that God spoke to my mind and heart. He said, “Take all that you wrote about grief and put it into book format. Reach as many hearts as you can with the light of HOPE.” Thus began my writing career, and my first book, ”One Foot On A Banana Peel,” was born. My Heavenly Father sustained me through all of those experiences that could have devastated me and my family. He sustains me still. He was the One who created hope in the first place. It is He who planted hope within my soul. So, I give honor and glory to him through the writing that I do. But it is YOU that I’m writing for. It is YOU who I pray finds hope within the pages of the books and seminars I write. It is YOU whom I know that God wants to bless with peace and HOPE. He sustained me … and He will sustain you.

http://livinghope.tatepublishing.net/
http://www.gentlespringsofhope.org/

"One Foot on a Banana Peel" With so much pain in the world, "One Foot..." is a breath of fresh air and a light of hope. "One Foot..." is a description of grief and an expression of the hope and healing that lie beyond trauma and tragedy.