Post Holiday Blues: Surviving in this Financially Driven Society

Ok ... the holidays are behind us. Many of us spent time with family and friends, enjoying good food and traditional gifts underneath the Christmas tree.  Parties and Christmas lights all around, grabbed our attention. And for a while, there was joy.

But before all this, there was planning and preparation.  And shopping. In a world full of technological advances, we were shown over and over what was "hot" and what was not. We knew what we wanted to buy, before we even made it to the store.  Our hearts were big ... and we wanted the best for our loved ones. Ohhhh ... it's so easy! With pre-season as well as last minute sales, credit card access, lay away plans, and stores vying for our business, it's hard to resist going a bit overboard.

But now come the bills.  Now we have to pay for all that holiday cheer. The flood begins ... and it is almost overwhelming. 

I'm about to give you one of the most important, yet difficult tips for financial sanity in this financially driven society. I call it 10-10-10. This 10-10-10 principle works with any amount of income, from $.10 all the way up to any amount you can think of.  Notice I didn't say it was easy; but it does work. Persistence, endurance and determination are the keys to making this principle work for you in a world that is permeated with buying and selling. 

First, as I told you in "Survival of the Fittest; Surviving in this Financially Driven Society" (which was Part 1), we need to get our priorities straight.  We must know our Source.  Sure, it is we who get up in the morning, don our outfits, feed our faces, leave our homes and families, and walk or drive to our places of employment. But it is God who gave us the means and ability to do so. It is God who gave us the strength and talents we use to support ourselves and bring home the "bread." It is God who gives us the mental capacity to decide where all the money we have earned will be spent. So consider Him first. In His Word, God tells us  to "Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse ... and prove me now, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven and pour you out a blessing..." (Malachi 3: 10)

So, in obedience to His Word, our first 10 is the 10% we tithe to the Lord. Don't get all caught up in where that tithe should go, or whether that 10% should be based on your gross or net income. Just find a church or ministry that you believe is working on behalf of the Lord, or one that you believe has needs, and donate the first 10% to God through that organization. 

The second 10 is the 10% you put into savings.  If you don't put some money back for future use, you will never get ahead. 10% may seem like a small amount, especially if your dreams are big. But it's a start. It's a first step. And with persistence and determination, this amount will grow.

The third 10 is the 10% you spend on yourself. This is an important part of the plan. If you don't take some of your hard-earned income and spend in on yourself ... if you don't enjoy some of it ... you will burn out. Our financial burdens will quickly overwhelm us, if we don't take some "time-out" for fun, or new clothes, or a night out, or whatever does it for you.

Pay your bills with the balance of your income.

So the plan is ... 10% tithing, 10% saving, and 10% spending. 10-10-10. Everything gets taken care of with this plan. Nothing gets left out. And the plan can be worked with any amount of income you have. As with other issues, it's not always easy. Especially in the beginning. But it is workable. And you can start now for the next go round of holidays!  You will be the winner in the end!

Those are my thoughts. What are yours?

Grieving Through the Holidays

It's that time of year again. Time for joy, holiday parties, gift giving and receiving. Time to worship the One whose birth we celebrate. It's also the time you feel grief so strongly, because the one you love has passed on. Or you lost your job. Or that fire or tornado or hurricane has destroyed all your worldly goods. Or maybe you have recently been diagnosed with a deadly disease. This is the time of year when everyone's happy, right? But you're not. You're in pain.

So, what is it that you can do? How can you get through these holiday celebrations without losing your mind, or having a breakdown ... or worse yet, becoming a hermit? Well, the very first thing you need to do is suck in that next breath of air!  Force it out, and then do it all over again!

The purpose of this blog is not to go through all the causes, symptoms and stages of the grieving process. You already know those, because you're experiencing them as we speak.  The purpose of this blog is to bring encouragement and hope to you through this holiday season.  To share some information with you that could help you get past the pain, and onto healing ... despite those emotions that make you want to hide from the world.

I read a book once called "A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows Through Loss," by Gerald Sitser. Mr. Sitser had experienced his own grievous trauma, and, therefore, was knowledgeable about what he wrote. On page 138, Mr. Sitser made this comment: "Sorrow itself needs the existence of God to validate it as a healthy and legitimate emotion. If there is no God, it makes no difference how we respond. It becomes entirely subjective, like individual tastes in ice cream. If sorrow is subjective, and it doesn't matter how we respond, then why not laugh at tragedy, loss and depression? How do we establish the absoluteness of good vs. bad, anyway? And where did we get the idea of "good" and "bad" in the first place? People feel pain in suffering because suffering is bad. We know this because we have knowledge of what is good. Such knowledge can only come from God."

Following Mr. Sitser's logic leads us to another point: denial of our negative emotions will only keep us in bondage to them for a longer period of time. We must acknowledge their existence. And then we must make a conscious choice to put them in their proper place.  In other words, throw those negative, painful emotions out like yesterday's trash. How? How is that possible? By making a conscious choice to acknowledge and grasp hold of the fact that even through the painful emotions, hope exists. Hope for healing. Tragedy is designed to defeat and destroy us. So, is healing possible? It depends on what you believe! And on what you do about hope! Grieve ... but never without hope.

Grief will destroy us, or it will transform us ... but it will never leave us the same. Our lives will never be the same as they were before the tragic event. But we can move on. And it can be a healthy, positive, productive, and most of all Godly, growth and change. Here are some practical suggestions that will help you overcome grief, especially as you progress through this holiday season:

1)  Prepare yourself. The Bible tells us in Proverbs 4: 23 to "guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."
2) Get a moderate amount of exercise. Exercise has been known to reduce stress.
3) Pay attention to your diet. Stick to the good stuff. Cut down on refined sugar, white flour products, caffeine, nicotine and anything else that is harmful to your body.
4) Get proper rest, as well as a good amount of sleep.
5) Talk to someone. There's healing power in sharing your burdens with someone.
6) Keep a journal of your thoughts, feelings, prayers and answers to prayer. Later, you'll be able to look back and see how much progress you have made.

Make a conscious choice to grab onto the hope of healing. Then take some positive steps in that direction. And don't forget to pat yourself on the back ... because even the smallest of steps is a major accomplishment!

Chilvary Is Not Dead

Available at Tate Publishing

Just in case you were wondering, I found the answer ... chivalry is not dead yet.  With a world full of crime, passion, anger, drive-by shootings, deceit, greed, abuse, and I could go on, where the portrayal of negative far outweighs the portrayal of positive in the media, we often lose sight of the many good deeds that go unnoticed. But this one won't.  

Out here in west Texas, we have a lot of highways. Long-distance travel is a way of life around here.  It's important to have a decent, mechanically sound vehicle.  On my way to a book-signing event this past weekend, I had a blow-out.  There began the miracle. The first blessing was that the car didn't roll.  Strange, because I was travelling at 70 mph (the posted speed limit). I've been driving for almost 50 years now, and I always have thought that if you were traveling fast when a blow-out occurred, your car would, at the very least, shimmy. And the possibility of it rolling was very realistic. But, I didn't even feel the blow-out at all! I just noticed smoke coming from the back of my vehicle, and pulled over.

Anything could have happened at that point. But after a short prayer, the second blessing occurred. Three gentlemen pulled over to help me out. Two changed the tire, and the third made sure the balance of my trip was safe. He made sure I got to the next town safely, got the tire replaced, and even made sure I got to my destination safely. Doesn't sound like much, you say? You'd have had to have been there. This young man went way above and beyond the "call of duty." His reasoning for doing all he did was, "If it were my mother, or my wife, or my sister, I'd want someone to do it for them."

We are each blessed with gifts and talents. Some know their gifts and talents, and use them to the fullest. Some don't yet realize what their gifts and talents are.  My story relates to the parable of the Good Samaritan. Luke 10: 25 - 37 tells the story of a certain man who was travelling along the road to Jericho, when he fell into the hands of some robbers. He was beaten, stripped and his possessions were taken. Some time later, three other men happened upon this now half-dead man. One was a priest, another was a Levite (the same as the victim). Neither stopped to help. Then came a Samaritan. Now, the Samaritans and the Levites were not on the best of terms ... yet the Samaritan was the one who helped the man who had been beaten and robbed. And not only did he assist the fallen Levite, but the Samaritan also provided the means by which all needed care could be given upon his departure.

Sound familiar? If not, read the beginning paragraphs again. My dilemma was not as life threatening as was the Levite's. But I was stuck nonetheless.  I needed help. In the parable, Jesus was teaching a lawyer, no less, about life.  "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind," He said in verse 27, "and your neighbor as yourself." Jesus was telling this lawyer that this is how we are to treat each other. It's what life is all about. It's why we were created in the first place. And it's where the old saying came from: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

Guardian angels do exist. They are real. Mine sent a wonderful "good samaritan" to help me that day. What did I learn from this experience? I learned that chilvary is not dead. I learned that miracles do still happen. And I learned that I should be passing the blessing on to others.  Keep your eyes peeled. There may be someone out there who needs your help!

The Breath of Life

Wherever books are sold

Have you ever been compared to a balloon? Me neither. Until this morning ...

We have a time for children during our Sunday morning worship. This morning, before church, a young one gave my pastor a balloon.  So, of course he brought it into the sermon. He held it up before the congregation, and asked one of the kids sitting beside him what was inside that balloon. She answered, "Nothing!" "Are you sure?" asked the pastor. "Yep." "There's nothing inside this balloon?" "Nope." "How about air? Is there air inside this balloon?" "Ohhhh, yes!!!" was the resounding reply. "Where did that air come from?" he asked. "It came from God," a little boy answered. After pulling himself together, the pastor laughed as he explained, "Yes, it's God's air, but it came from your mouth. Right?"

Strange how our minds work, but as all this was going on up at the altar, I was thinking about the air in that balloon.  I thought about how it made that balloon look. With no air in the balloon, the balloon is flat as a pancake.  With air in it, it had life. Big, bouncy, fun. Made me think about us.

God created the world, and everything in it. Then He created humanity. He took the dust of the earth and worked with it much the same as a potter works with clay. He molded it, fashioned it, and formed it, and the final result was a man, whom He called Adam.  But Adam, even though he now had a body, did not yet have life. It wasn't until God breathed into him the breath of life, that Adam came alive. Kind of like that balloon. It existed, it was. But not until that young boy blew air into it, did it become a toy to be played with.

Bet you thought that was the end of the story, right? Nope. Take that same balloon and instead of blowing your own air into it, fill it with helium instead. What happens then? Suddenly that balloon has new life! Now that balloon can fly! Let go of the string, and that balloon will rise as far as it can go, if you happen to be inside. And it will fly as far as the eye can see, if you happen to be outside. New life.

That's what the Holy Spirit of God does for us and in us. We are born. But when we become Christians, the Holy Spirit breathes new life into us, and we become born again. No, we did not return to our mother's womb. The new birth I speak of here is spiritual. We ask for, and are given, forgiveness for our wrong doings, and we accept the truth of what Jesus has done for us. We accept His gift and invite Him to live in our hearts and guide our lives. He brings with Him one of the most awesome gifts we will ever receive ... that of the Holy Spirit. New life is breathed into the very core of our being, and every fiber of our being is renewed and rejuvenated.

At the moment of conception, we are kind of like that flat balloon. When we are born, God breathes that breath of life into our lungs, and we are alive ... similar to the balloon blown up by that little child.  But then, the most amazing thing happens when we become Christians. New life, given by the power and grace of the Holy Spirit ... and through that new life, we can fly as far as the eye can see!

My Hero

Tate Publishers

I love King David. Next to Jesus, David is my favorite Biblical character. He’s the one I want to see next after Jesus when I get to Heaven. He’s the one whose hand I want to shake. I want to tell King David how much his life has touched my own. You see, I relate to David’s writings in the Psalms. Friends relate to Job, Peter … you may relate to a different Biblical character. I relate to David.

David is my hero. He was a man after God’s own heart. David had an awesome relationship with God, and because of that relationship he had faith enough to slay a bear, a lion and a nine-foot-tall giant. It is said that David was a very young man when he accomplished these tasks, probably in his early teens. Yet he knew who he was, and Whose he was. He was a shepherd at the time he slew Goliath. He tended to the few sheep his father owned. Still, he knew in Whose army he fought; “… for who is this uncircumcised Philistine, that he should defy the armies of the living God?” (I Samuel 17: 26) David was well aware that no power could defeat his God. “Thou comest to me with a sword and with a spear and with a shield: but I come to thee in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom thou has defied.” (I Samuel 17: 45) Then he picked up five smooth stones, and with one of them, he slew the giant who caused the whole of Samuel’s armies to tremble in fear.

Yet as close as David was to the heart of God, he still made mistakes. Some of those mistakes were serious, and horrendous consequences followed them. Throughout the course of his lifetime, whether by fault or by persecution David had many times and instances of intense trepidation, causing him to cry out to God in great distress. He wasn’t afraid or ashamed to voice his concerns to God, either. Yet somehow, somewhere deep inside of him, David knew. He knew who God was. He knew God’s power and majesty. He knew God’s might. When he cried out to God, his grievances never had a period (.) at the end of them. They always had a comma (,). The end of the sentence (prayer, i.e. psalm) never came until after David acknowledged who God is. David’s heart felt pain, and even death. He struggled much of the time while he was walking through his “valley of the shadow of death.” However through it all, he always ended his cries by acknowledging God’s presence, as well as His authority, in any given situation that he happened to be experiencing at the time. David knew … the Lord is God!

David struggled, as have I. In my own life, I, too, have cried out to God with heartfelt tears. I’ve known David’s tears and I’ve known David’s fears. I’ve known his defeats and his victories. I relate to David. And like David, I’ve also known the majesty, power and authority of God’s mighty presence in my life. Again like David, I can say, “Oh God, Thou are my God.” It’s in recognizing who God is, and His presence, power and authority to sustain us as we walk through the “valley of the shadow of death,” that times of refreshing come. It’s in acknowledging God’s life within us, that life comes to us.

Hope for Recovery

Xulon Press

I’m a licensed belief therapist, an author and speaker. All that came about because of a long bout with grief. There were 11 deaths of immediate family members in a short span of time, at the time I wrote my first book, “One Foot on a Banana Peel.” But there were also things happening in LIFE that took my breath away. Those were even more difficult, and could have destroyed me and my family. I found several interesting things during the time of research for this work. I was startled to find out how many people were suffering from grief and/or depression. Sooooo many! Another thing I was surprised at was that many believed that grief and depression are two totally separate entities. It was said that grief is only suffered at the death of a loved one. This is just not true, and it’s not Biblical either. I do realize that there can be a clinical depression that is deeper than “normal” (whatever “normal" is these days), but one thing I found out about this total separation between the two was that people were not able to connect with HOPE, or a recovery, because they didn’t know what it was they were dealing with! Knowing what the problem is, is half the battle … right? There IS hope! And there can be recovery! I’m living proof!

Step Away From the "Best Sellers"!

When going to a book store or looking on Amazon.com, take a moment and step away from the "Best Sellers". Why? You may be overlooking some really good books by beginning authors. It is very difficult to break through the pack and become a "best selling" author when there are one million book titles produced each year in the United States.

Many of the books making the list are there, not for the content of the book, but for the popularity of the author. Unless an author is a celebrity, many readers will not give a book a second look. While they may be great books, there are other books out there to look at.

If you area an avid reader, take the time to go to book fairs and book stores and make it a point to meet the authors at their booth. Many of them have great personal stories of how their book(s) came to be published. These beginning authors will devote time to converse with you. They will be happy to sign your book purchases also.

After reading the book you have purchased, please do not forget to review it on one of the major book sites on the internet. Barnesandnoble.com, goodreads.com, amazon.com and others are a good choice. If you really would like to be an encouragement, send an email or note to the author. Encouragement goes a long way. After all, you are the reason writers write.

God bless you.