The Miracle of Forgiveness

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Why do we struggle so much to forgive someone when we are hurt by them? Why do we struggle to receive forgiveness for our own wrong doings? We have a hard enough time receiving God's forgiveness, yet it seems even harder to forgive ourselves for what we do wrong. Forgiveness seems to be a major issue in our world today. Why is this so?

Well, here are a couple of reasons. The first takes us all the way back to the Garden of Eden. When Eve ate the forbidden fruit, and Adam followed in kind, their first reaction was shame, as is evidenced by the fact that they tried to cover their nakedness (their sin) with fig leaves. Their second reaction was fear, as is evidenced by the fact that they hid themselves from God when He came into the Garden for their daily walk and talk. Shame and fear ... that's what sin produces!

We humans were never designed to carry that load! It's hard to come out from under such a weight. To give you a picture of why this is so, take a look at your body. When your body is hurt, bruised, cut or injured in some way, its natural reaction is to tense up, in a subconscious effort to resist the pain. The same thing happens in our emotions. When we are hurt, either by the actions of others or by our own wrong doings, our emotions "tense up" to resist the negative impact. We balk! And we respond not with fig leaves, but with "walls" (of anger, fear, shame etc.) because we don't want to be hurt again. This "resistance," whether conscious or subconscious, actually keeps our physical bodies and/or our emotions in bondage to that pain for an even longer period of time!

The second reason why it's so hard to forgive and accept forgiveness, is because we really don't understand what forgiveness means. In order to gain some insight, let me first explain what forgiveness is not:

Forgiving does not mean ignoring the offense. If the offense is ignored, it's basically the same thing as saying that it never happened. How can you give or receive forgiveness for an event that never occurred? Forgiveness does not mean there is no penalty. There is a consequence for every action, good or bad (or lack of action).  Remember, Jesus had to pay the ultimate price so that we could be forgiven!

Also, forgiving someone does not mean that you automatically forget, although forgiving someone in the true sense of the word does bring a release and peace to your mind, and perhaps even enough healing that you would not focus on the trauma as much. But some events are impossible to forget (like the untimely death of a loved one). But you can still forgive. Forgiving someone is also not an acceptance that what was done is ok. It's not ok!! And you do not have to "like it" in order to forgive. Forgiving someone does not mean that you automatically trust that person again, or that things will be ok now, OR that you have to remain in a hurtful situation. Forgiving someone is not an open door for continued mistreatment!

When you forgive someone, you excuse them. You pardon them. You release them, meaning that you no longer hold them accountable for their actions. That's a blessing for the one forgiven, but it's even more of a blessing for you! When you forgive, it releases you from the horrible bondage of pain, anger, bitterness ... and all those other negative emotions that profoundly affect your physical well being. It releases you to have room in your mind and heart for peace, joy and love.

Forgiveness is not based on our "feelings." It is based on a conscious choice made by the power of our will. What if we don't "feel" like forgiving? That's when choice comes into play. Even though we can't control all situations or circumstances in life, we can control how we respond to them! What if we forgive, but we don't "feel" any better? What if we feel that what we or they have done is just too awful? This is a classic case of the condemnation that God's enemy and ours, Satan, would have us fall prey to. But once again, we do have the power to choose ... will we believe and respond to truth? Or to our roller-coaster feelings?

Forgiveness given or received is a true miracle. There are no "keys" to fixing every wrong done to us or by us, in our lifetimes. But in terms of healing and restoration, forgiving comes as close as is humanly possible!

As always, you are invited and encouraged to join this blog, and share it with family, friends & associates.

Isn't It Just Like The Enemy?

These things only happen to "the other guy:"

The other day I received a phone call. The call came through as "Unknown" on the phone. I answered it anyway, which I question now whether that, in general, is a wise thing to do. The woman on the other end of the line introduced herself as "Yvonne," and asked to speak to "Jane Harber."

"Speaking," I answered.

"I work for (so-and-so) Attorneys. We are representing GE Money Bank in their law suit against you for charges in the amount of $5,432.17 on an unsecured credit card."

"WHAT???"

"You have charged this amount, and not paid it. GE Money Bank is sueing you for the balance."

"What are you talking about? What credit card, and when did these charges occur? What's an 'unsecured' credit card anyway?"

"An unsecured credit card is one that is through a store. It could be Walmart, or Beall's, or just about any store."

"Well, I don't have any store credit cards. Are you sure you have the right person?"

"You are Jane Harber, are you not?"

"Yes. But maybe the credit card belongs to someone else with the same name."

"We are about to serve you with these papers. You'll find out then that we have the right person."

"Well, tell me what credit card and when these charges occurred."

(Shuffling a few papers...) "Look, ma'am ... I don't know what credit card it was. But I'm trying to help you here. Just give me your birthdate, and the last two numbers of your Social Security ..."

"Birth date is  ...."

AND THEN I "WOKE UP" TO WHAT WAS HAPPENING!

"But I'm not giving you the last two numbers of my Social Security until I can confirm your identity. Your call came through as "Unknown," and I want your telephone number so I can call these lawyers."

"I'm just trying to help you here, but I guess you're not going to cooperate. So you'll get yours when the papers arrive."

With that, "Yvonne" hung up.

Oh my gosh!!!!! How many times have I heard of these scams?!? How many people have been duped into revealing private and personal information, only to wake up to the reality that their identity had been stolen.  How many people have gone through years of torment and turmoil in order to get messes like this one purported to be, straightened out. And don't we usually think that "these things only happen to the other guy?" As aware as I am that these things occur, you would have thought I'd have picked up on this one sooner than I did. But if truth be known, the only thing that really saved my hide on this one, was the fact that the call came through as "Unknown." I truly believe I had a big, strong, guardian angel guiding me during this conversation.

But isn't this just like the enemy? What a type and picture of how he deceives us and tricks us into getting into such trouble! Cunning and deceitful, his desire is for our ruin. There's nothing more that he would like but to see us entrenched in years of trials, tribulations and troubles. Spin our heads with lies and lack of understanding. Destruction along every path.

So, how do we stop him? It's been said that a bank teller is not trained in how to catch a forgery when it comes across their palms. That would really be an effort in futility, since new ways and means of creating forgeries and deceptions are created just as often as we figure out how to stop the last barrage of them. No, a bank teller is so well trained in knowing the real thing that they would be able to recognize anything that didn't line up!

That's how we stop God's enemy and ours! We become so familiar with the "real thing" that we can recognize and catch a forgery when it comes across our path! We come to know Jesus Christ, and His Word. Develop a relationship with Him. He is the "real One." 

5 Tips For Promoting Your Book(s) #3

Hi again!

1) Get a website. That sounds daunting doesn't it? Some publishers provide a website for their authors. There are people who design them. There are other companies that have website options for a monthly fee. I get mine through vistaprint.com. You can get them for any price point, but I get the delux site because I want to be able to sell my stuff on my own site, elainelittau.com . I have a paypal shopping cart on there and it is great.

2) So...you have a website. So what? You have to answer a few questions about why you have it. One fact of our day and time is that if you have a business, and your book is your business, you MUST have a website. Questions to consider:

a)Who am I selling to? You will want to say 'everybody'. That just isn't true. While many people from each demographic will read your book, you do have a dominate reader profile.

b) Once you figure out who your major buys are you need to decide if they are people who have a lot of technical/computer experience or are they people who love getting mail-outs and paper advertisements. Whether your customer is technically challenged or not, you need a simple to navigate site.

3) The FIRST page of your website needs to tell them, in plain language , what it is you want them to do. An arrow---BUY HERE pointing to the books and things you offer. A sentence in bold type AUTHOR, SPEAKER, BOOK MARKETING COACH...or POET, SPEAKER, WRITER...Make sure your customer knows your purpose on the first page.

4) Your other pages can have your bio and book details and other things you offer, as well as guestbook, book trailers, and all the bells and whistles.

5) Be sure you use good KEY WORDS in describing your website if there is that option. You will want your website to be found easily by search engines. (frugal book marketing, author, speaker, writer, fiction, historical fiction, western fiction, christian western fiction, book marketing coach....)

Until next time, why don't you work on these 5 things?

Post Holiday Blues: Surviving in this Financially Driven Society

Ok ... the holidays are behind us. Many of us spent time with family and friends, enjoying good food and traditional gifts underneath the Christmas tree.  Parties and Christmas lights all around, grabbed our attention. And for a while, there was joy.

But before all this, there was planning and preparation.  And shopping. In a world full of technological advances, we were shown over and over what was "hot" and what was not. We knew what we wanted to buy, before we even made it to the store.  Our hearts were big ... and we wanted the best for our loved ones. Ohhhh ... it's so easy! With pre-season as well as last minute sales, credit card access, lay away plans, and stores vying for our business, it's hard to resist going a bit overboard.

But now come the bills.  Now we have to pay for all that holiday cheer. The flood begins ... and it is almost overwhelming. 

I'm about to give you one of the most important, yet difficult tips for financial sanity in this financially driven society. I call it 10-10-10. This 10-10-10 principle works with any amount of income, from $.10 all the way up to any amount you can think of.  Notice I didn't say it was easy; but it does work. Persistence, endurance and determination are the keys to making this principle work for you in a world that is permeated with buying and selling. 

First, as I told you in "Survival of the Fittest; Surviving in this Financially Driven Society" (which was Part 1), we need to get our priorities straight.  We must know our Source.  Sure, it is we who get up in the morning, don our outfits, feed our faces, leave our homes and families, and walk or drive to our places of employment. But it is God who gave us the means and ability to do so. It is God who gave us the strength and talents we use to support ourselves and bring home the "bread." It is God who gives us the mental capacity to decide where all the money we have earned will be spent. So consider Him first. In His Word, God tells us  to "Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse ... and prove me now, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven and pour you out a blessing..." (Malachi 3: 10)

So, in obedience to His Word, our first 10 is the 10% we tithe to the Lord. Don't get all caught up in where that tithe should go, or whether that 10% should be based on your gross or net income. Just find a church or ministry that you believe is working on behalf of the Lord, or one that you believe has needs, and donate the first 10% to God through that organization. 

The second 10 is the 10% you put into savings.  If you don't put some money back for future use, you will never get ahead. 10% may seem like a small amount, especially if your dreams are big. But it's a start. It's a first step. And with persistence and determination, this amount will grow.

The third 10 is the 10% you spend on yourself. This is an important part of the plan. If you don't take some of your hard-earned income and spend in on yourself ... if you don't enjoy some of it ... you will burn out. Our financial burdens will quickly overwhelm us, if we don't take some "time-out" for fun, or new clothes, or a night out, or whatever does it for you.

Pay your bills with the balance of your income.

So the plan is ... 10% tithing, 10% saving, and 10% spending. 10-10-10. Everything gets taken care of with this plan. Nothing gets left out. And the plan can be worked with any amount of income you have. As with other issues, it's not always easy. Especially in the beginning. But it is workable. And you can start now for the next go round of holidays!  You will be the winner in the end!

Those are my thoughts. What are yours?