Why Do People Falter?

Available at Tate Publishing

Interview question asked of me: "Why do you think so many people tend to falter in their beliefs when times get tough?"

My answer: 

God gave us 5 senses … hearing, sight, taste, touch and smell. He gave us those abilities so that we could stay in touch with the world which He created for us to live in.  He also gave us His Spirit, so that we could stay in touch with Heaven. He also had to create us with an awesome power, called the power of choice. (That’s another story for another writing! ;o}) In our self-willed, self-centered, independent nature, we have grown into a state of becoming more and more “dependent” upon our five senses, and less and less dependent on God’s Holy Spirit. What we can hear, see, taste, feel and smell has become more real to us than what cannot be detected by those five senses.  The world has become more and more dominant in our lives, than what comes after this fleshly life is over.  Worldly “reality,” instead of spiritual “truth.” That which we are used to depending upon (the world), fails us when traumas and tragedies strike because what has not been developed in our lives(spiritual relationship with God), is then not as obvious to be found when those hard times hit. It’s like exercise. Exercise strengthens the physical body, and then when that strength is needed, it has already been developed. Without even a moderate amount of movement (exercise), that strength would not be there when we need it. It’s the same way spiritually and emotionally.

Yet, there’s still something within each of us that’s crying out for the spiritual. We see it all over the place in this day and age, especially through the entertainment industry. There are more ghost chasing stories, more stories about mediums and the like, more stories about spiritual powers, on TV and in the movies today than ever before. The problem is that God (and we) has an enemy; he’s the father of lies. He’s the one who deceived Eve all the way back in the Garden of Eden so many years ago, and he’s still around today trying to deceive anyone who will listen. And through his deception, who God really is and what He will or won’t do, gets twisted in our minds and hearts. It’s so critical that we know where any spiritual “power” comes from, so that we do not fall into that deception. Because guess what? That deception will also fail us in times of need. 

God is the only One who sustains. I’m aware that many go through tough situations without the knowledge of His existence, but truthfully, I don’t know how they do it. Without Him and His real and active presence in my life, I would not be here writing these words. There’s absolutely nothing like a touch on your mind and/or heart by God when you’re at your deepest, darkest point. Circumstances may or may not change, but you surely will.

#6-#10 Tips for Marketing Books

Thanks again Jane, for letting me guest blog again.

#6- Write a great book. If it is good, people talk. If people talk, the books sell.

#7- Write articles for online and hard-copy magazines. Keep your eyes open for opportunities to do this.

#8 - Write a short-story and put it on your website as a free down-load.

#9 - Write "between the books" chapters for your readers to enjoy while they are waiting on the next book. It keeps the characters fresh in their mind. Offer the chapters on your website. Write one short chapter a week or month.

#10 - Have contests on facebook. Give away a free book for those who post on your profile. You can ask a question to which there is no "correct" answer. The point is to have people interested in your book. It helps to show that you care about your readers.

"Drunk-orexia" - A Disease?

This morning on MSNBC News there was a discussion about the new, up-and-coming "disease" called "drunk-orexia." Drunk-orexia is when a person goes on a binge drinking spree, and then does not eat properly in order to balance off the caloric intake consumed through the alcohol.  The person may not eat at all, or they may eat only junk foods just to keep something in their stomach. The discussion involved this activity becoming a significant concern on college campuses these days. The "expert" being interviewed said that the practice has been going on for a long time, but is once again coming to the forefront on college campuses. This activity is a social malady, participated in partially because young people just don't know what to do with their new-found freedom. They want to be a part of their social group, while still maintaining their thin body forms and weight. 

Drunk-orexia ... a new one on me. I've heard of "anorexia" (an eating disorder) and a lot of other "rexias," but "drunk-orexia" is new to my ears and basic foundational knowledge.  I'm not sure what's worse: that this activity is occurring, or that it's occurring so frequently that we have had to put a name to it! Granted, it's been a long time since I was in college, and drinking was not new to us during those youthful years. But binge drinking followed by starvation was unheard of back then. 

I'm concerned about the label: "disease." As far as I know, diseases don't come all wrapped up in a socially appealing bottle. How easy it would be to eliminate societies maladies if that were the case. No, I believe the problem goes much deeper than that. And I also believe that it will continue to get worse unless we get all the way back to the root cause of the problem.

We do what we do because we believe what we believe.  Self-esteem and a balanced sense of self-respect is at the core of the issue. Now, I'm fully aware that emotional issues can drastically affect our physical bodies. And what once started out to be a social, fun activity, can end up in the vice grip of addiction and self-degradation. But if we don't get back to the root cause of this, we will never conquer it.

Our teenage years are often the most confusing and puzzling years of our lives. Somewhere between the times when we enjoyed playing with Tonka trucks and baby dolls, to the times when we are entrenched in career responsibilities and raising our own families, something happened. In those brief eight years of life we grew up. Or at least teens think they did.  A strong, firm foundation is absolutely essential ... before they get to the place of having to become involved in drunk-orexia activities just to be accepted by their peers.  

The problem runs deep into our psyche. Human beings, especially teens and pre-teens, need structure and discipline. They need to know that they have value and worth, and that their lives have meaning and purpose. I believe that once their feet are firmly planted on a solid foundation of balance in this, they are far less likely to develop this drunk-orexia "disease," and far more likely to have some real, non-life-threatening fun. As parents, teachers, Sunday School teachers, youth group leaders, mentors, counselors and case workers (and anyone else who works with youth), we have an amazing and awesome opportunity to help our children and our teens to grow into a positive, productive, healthy, and Godly life pathway.

Those are my thoughts, what are yours?

Boot Camps for Troubled Teens

For more info, click here

As an author of a behavioral management program for troubled teens, I'm always doing on line research on the subject. Quite often I come across blogs and websites about boot camp type programs. As a former Texas Youth Commission employee, who was assigned to work at their now closed boot camp, I take a vested interest in these type of programs.  This evening I came across a blog (click here to read the blog) written on boot camps in general, and being an advocate, I responded. Here is my response:

"I am an advocate for boot camp programs for troubled teens … at least in general … because I worked for one that I considered to be one of the best. It was a Texas Youth Commission facility.

"I was the community relations coordinator at the boot camp, and as such, part of my responsibilities included the social aspects of youth rehabilitation. I had constant contact with the youth, as well as the staff responsible for their daily care. Our staff, while not perfect in every respect, was the absolute best! We did not yell or scream at the youth, as has been generally associated with boot camps, and as has been referred to in your article above. Our program was based on structure, discipline and respect.

"While it was not my “job,” part of my “goal” became to instill within any of our youth who would listen, a sense of value and self-worth. Their lives had meaning and purpose. And once they grasped hold of that concept, they could begin to understand that they were selling themselves short through their actions. No program will “reach” every youth participant, and some at our boot camp did not receive this possibility either. But how great it was when one of them did!

"Human beings need structure and discipline, troubled teens notwithstanding. Some of them knew absolutely nothing about this concept until coming to our facility. As the community relations coordinator, another part of my job was to be the liaison between the facility and the surrounding communities. As such, I have received and entertained many questions from the public about this boot camp idea and philosophy of yelling, screaming and in general, military behavior. Yes, we wore uniforms. And yes, it most definitely was a “yes, sir” “no, sir” atmosphere. What’s wrong with that? To me, ma’am and sir are indicative of respect, and I see nothing wrong with teaching respect. In fact, the question becomes … just how do you teach a youth who has been entrenched in negative lifestyles and inappropriate behavior, to learn how to respect others? You show them! So not only were our youth expected to be respectful towards staff, but staff was respectful to them as well. I, for one, called them “sir” in my communication with them!

'Many of the youth left our facility with whole new outlooks on life, and hope for their futures. So, yes … I’m a teen boot camp advocate!

"Jane E. Harber, author
“Quit Digging! A Lifeline of Hope for Troubled Teens"

Those are my thoughts. What are yours?

5 Tips For Promoting Your Book(s)

I appreciate the opportunity to guest blog for author, Jane Harber. Hopefully, this will be a help to her readers. 

I have been asked by my author friends to give them a few tips on getting more book sales. Today I will give 5 tips. I will be giving 5 tips for book sales every week. Be sure to keep checking in to see the new posts.

1.    Don't be shy about telling people you know that you have a contract to have your book published. Have someone take a picture of you with your contract and include it with an article that you have written about your book and the process you have been through. This works really well in a small hometown paper. If you grew up in a small town, don't forget to send this to them also.

2.     If you don't have a facebook profile page, you really need to get one. Tell everyone about your book, but be sure to be yourself, also. Put your book title and your website address in your permanent information box under your profile picture. That way, you don't have to be "in your face" to people about your book.

3.     Send an email to your email contacts about your book. If it has been out a while, offer it at a discounted price. Paypal has a button you can put on a simple email so that those who would rather use a credit card to purchase can do so right on the email.

4.     Speaking of Paypal, go to paypal.com and study all of the options they have for you. I like them because they don't charge unless you have a sale. Then it is just a small percentage. They have so much to offer, you will need to take a little time to see how to best utilize everything. I put paypal buttons on my weekly newsletter and shopping carts on my website. It is handy for everyone.

5.    Subscribe to blogs that have helpful hints and marketing help. I have a dozen that I read every week. I take notes on the things that I think will work for me and delete the things I am not ready for. I have a folder in my email for those who are the best of the best ideas. I spend anywhere from 1 to 5 hrs a day marketing.

If you have questions about any of these 5 tips or want more details, leave a comment and I will get back to you.

I offer personal coaching to authors. The first week is $5. If you find my coaching helpful, the cost is $50 per month. Contact me at http://elainelittau.com/

The Breath of Life

Wherever books are sold

Have you ever been compared to a balloon? Me neither. Until this morning ...

We have a time for children during our Sunday morning worship. This morning, before church, a young one gave my pastor a balloon.  So, of course he brought it into the sermon. He held it up before the congregation, and asked one of the kids sitting beside him what was inside that balloon. She answered, "Nothing!" "Are you sure?" asked the pastor. "Yep." "There's nothing inside this balloon?" "Nope." "How about air? Is there air inside this balloon?" "Ohhhh, yes!!!" was the resounding reply. "Where did that air come from?" he asked. "It came from God," a little boy answered. After pulling himself together, the pastor laughed as he explained, "Yes, it's God's air, but it came from your mouth. Right?"

Strange how our minds work, but as all this was going on up at the altar, I was thinking about the air in that balloon.  I thought about how it made that balloon look. With no air in the balloon, the balloon is flat as a pancake.  With air in it, it had life. Big, bouncy, fun. Made me think about us.

God created the world, and everything in it. Then He created humanity. He took the dust of the earth and worked with it much the same as a potter works with clay. He molded it, fashioned it, and formed it, and the final result was a man, whom He called Adam.  But Adam, even though he now had a body, did not yet have life. It wasn't until God breathed into him the breath of life, that Adam came alive. Kind of like that balloon. It existed, it was. But not until that young boy blew air into it, did it become a toy to be played with.

Bet you thought that was the end of the story, right? Nope. Take that same balloon and instead of blowing your own air into it, fill it with helium instead. What happens then? Suddenly that balloon has new life! Now that balloon can fly! Let go of the string, and that balloon will rise as far as it can go, if you happen to be inside. And it will fly as far as the eye can see, if you happen to be outside. New life.

That's what the Holy Spirit of God does for us and in us. We are born. But when we become Christians, the Holy Spirit breathes new life into us, and we become born again. No, we did not return to our mother's womb. The new birth I speak of here is spiritual. We ask for, and are given, forgiveness for our wrong doings, and we accept the truth of what Jesus has done for us. We accept His gift and invite Him to live in our hearts and guide our lives. He brings with Him one of the most awesome gifts we will ever receive ... that of the Holy Spirit. New life is breathed into the very core of our being, and every fiber of our being is renewed and rejuvenated.

At the moment of conception, we are kind of like that flat balloon. When we are born, God breathes that breath of life into our lungs, and we are alive ... similar to the balloon blown up by that little child.  But then, the most amazing thing happens when we become Christians. New life, given by the power and grace of the Holy Spirit ... and through that new life, we can fly as far as the eye can see!

Survival of the Fittest; Surviving in this Financially-Driven Society

Surviving in this financially-driven society has become quite a feat. A long time ago, I made a conscious choice. I decided that I never wanted to be rich. I wanted to be able to "make it," ie: pay my bills, and have a little left over for the extras that I'd like to do or have. But I didn't want to be wealthy. The reason? Because I wanted to be liked or not liked, as the case may be, for who I was ... not for what I had.

There's a story told in Luke 15: 11 - 32, about a young man who was disheartened with his life at home. We don’t know the details of this young man’s growing up years or the reasons behind his displeasure and malcontent. We don’t know what type of personality his family members had or what type of personality he had. But because of what happened next, we do have a basic understanding of his family’s financial status. The young man wanted to leave home, so he went to his father and asked him for his inheritance. His father, operating out of wisdom that we are hard-pressed to understand until later on in the story, went along with his son’s request. The son then took that inheritance, left the “confines” of his home and family, and went to a faraway place.

It wasn’t long before the son was in trouble. He spent all his money on riotous living, and while he did so, he was deluged with friends. But soon the inheritance was gone, and because of that, his so-called "friends" left him as well. It so happened at about that same time, that the land he was living in began to experience a disastrous famine. Food was scarce. This prodigal son had no money left,  and no friends around to help him. So he was forced to seek employment. A neighborly citizen of the land hired him and sent him out to feed his pigs. The prodigal son, who once lived “high on the hog,” was now reduced to feeding them.

There have been times in my life when I regretted making that earlier decision about my finances ... especially because it turned out to be exactly what happened in my life. The good part is that I have been blessed with friends. True friends. Real friends. Friends who have been with me through thick and thin. Friends who cared enough to care for me, and care about me. Friends who have not hesitated to confront me when I needed it, and friends who have had enough courage and compassion to put their arm around my shoulder when I needed comfort. And ... friends who have not run in the opposite direction because I had financial needs.

The seemingly not-so-good part is that I've lived most of my life from paycheck to paycheck. Those of you who are struggling in this current recession, understand what that means. There have been many times when I have wondered whether we were going to make it or not. This concern was exacerbated greatly because I have an inbred craving to get my bills paid on time, to keep my good credit standing, and to get out of debt. It was tough when the money ran out before the month did. But somehow we always had a roof over our heads, food on the table and clothes on our backs.

Because of the famine in the land, there soon came a time when there was not much for that young lad to eat. Eventually, he became so hungry that he considered eating the food he was giving to the pigs. Later, we will go on with the end of the story. But for now let’s examine just what it was that put this young man … and us … into the position of having to eat from a pigsty.

There is a saying in this world, “The grass is always greener on the other side.” It seems like somebody else always has “it” better. They have more fun than we do … or more money … or more laughs … or a bigger house … or a better car. Their kids behave better than ours … everybody likes them better … or they go on more vacations. They’ve got it easy, we’ve got it tough. Life is just passing us by. It seems like many people are discontent with their lives, just like that prodigal son. With the entrance of sin into the world, our relationship and communion with God was severed. We became separated from our Heavenly Father. At this occurrence, a vacuum was created — a hole, if you will – in our beings. We were no longer complete and whole; we were apart from the presence of God. So our self-nature filled in the gap. Instead of God being the center of our beings, self took the place. And with self on the throne, down we went.

The prodigal son’s experience personifies what we all go through. Self-nature becomes dominant, and selfishness is the outcome. Just as this young man, we want our part … and we want it now! The sensual lifestyle looks good, but we are blind to the realization that all that glitters is not gold. Focusing on the fleshly desires, our spiritual lives have become impoverished. When that happens, we generally hit the bottom of the barrel in self-degradation, humiliation, corruption, and disgrace. We have become “starved.” We have become blind to the truth that this fleshly life is but a wisp, a vapor that vanishes away after a short period of time. We have forgotten that soon we will be facing eternity, for our spirits will live on forever. This self-degradation … this separation … is something we may or may not even realize, depending upon whether our face is literally in the “pigsty,” or the stigma is spiritual and character related. In either case, we’ve all been there.

All that may look pretty bleak to you, but there is hope! As he came face-to-face with the food in that pigsty, a realization came to the prodigal son … the realization of what he had left behind. His father had servants, and they were eating better than him! He was dying of starvation, yet his very own father could restore him to life. All he had to do was go home! Once this unmistakable insight hit him, he immediately knew what he had to do. He decided that he would go to his father and admit his sin. The lad knew that because of his sin he was no longer worthy to be thought of as a son. So he would ask his dad to hire him on as one of the servants! Food, clothing, and shelter would once again be his, not to mention the fact that his life would be spared.

The prodigal son had an awakening, an awareness and conscious knowledge of his fragile position in life. He also had a revelation about what he needed to do in order for his life to be spared. One more thing he had at that point, which he did not realize that he possessed the moment before, was a choice. He knew where he was and knew what he had to do to get out of the mess he was in. Now he had a choice; he could do what was necessary (repent and go home), or abstain from action and stay like he was.

I've been faced with that same choice. While I've never had my face literally in a pigsty (thank God!), I've had to change the way I was doing things; change the way I handled my finances. Change details such as the way I grocery shopped, or the amount of clothes or household items I bought. Change the amount of cable channels I have had. But through the years, we've always had a roof over our heads, food on our table and clothes on our backs.  Looking back at some of those times in my life, I have no idea how we made it through those financial droughts. Well, yes I do. It was a God thing for sure.

I've also had to repent many times for my lack of trust and for my worrying. And I've had to get some priorities straight. Sometimes we can't see the forest for the trees ... and my financial life was like that. Now I've lived long enough to be able to look back on some things. And I can tell you in all honesty that it's God who sustains me. God is real, He's alive and He's a good God. And He cares about His children ... even their financial states.  We have all been separated from Him, as was the prodigal son separated from his father.  But we, too, have the same choice in life. We can repent and return to the Father. And place even our finances in His most capable hands, using wisdom from His Word to conduct our financial matters. And when we do, we will be among the "fittest."

Wherever books are sold

Your Heart is NOT Your Friend!

There came an issue of grief at one point in my life. I did the best I could to override the pain with prayer and reading and quoting comforting Scriptures. As I battled, a simple yet very profound thought came to me that I believe might help others as well. That morning I discovered that my heart is not my friend. Now, I know that sounds strange. But just for a minute, try to follow me in this: my heart wants to remember and feel the pain of child rebellion, my own as well as my children's. My heart almost constantly remembers and feels the pain of widowhood and having been alone for so many years. Always at the wrong moment, my heart slams me with the pain of rejection and betrayal. And we could go on and on. My heart is not my friend. No friend wants you to remain captive and enslaved to painful experiences.

            The question is why? Why do our hearts want to remember and feel such hurt? And the answer is…so it will never happen again! It’s the heart’s defense mechanism, so to speak, to remember everything that went sour in our lives so that we won’t fall into that same trap again. Remember this? Remember that? Remember how it felt? Our hearts don’t want to be hurt anymore, so they throw up walls of protection against being hurt again. We could give these walls names…anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, fear, to mention just a few. These things stand in defense of our hurting hearts, making certain that we “never do that again!” One thing about those walls, though: they may protect the pain that our hearts hold so that we won’t be hurt again, but guess what else they do? They also provide a barrier against God’s blessings and keep them from getting in! This setup that our emotions have developed keeps us focused upon self, and the end result is that we become unable to receive God’s promises and blessings.

            I’m not the only one this happens to. More than likely, you have experienced something similar as well. Later that evening, I received a phone call from a friend who was also going through a hard time. As he spoke, I was praying, asking God for wisdom. When my friend asked, I explained what was happening to him was that his life was being “tilled up” right then. Before you can plant seeds, the soil needs to be prepared. It’s the same with us, especially emotionally. When God is about to bring new things into our lives or head our lives in a new direction, our emotions and thought processes need to be tilled up so we can get rid of the old and replace it with the new. You see, while my heart is not my friend, God is. He’s your friend as well. God does not want us to remain captive to those negative emotions that are so painful. He wants us to live by the grace and power of His Holy Spirit. He wants us to walk (live) by the Spirit, not the flesh. “Walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit,” He tells us in Romans 8:1-2. “For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.”

            God wants us to be more than conquerors. Why? Because as much as He loves us (and it can’t be emphasized enough here that Jesus loves each and every one of us, as individuals), there is something else just as important. There is a common good, or goal, as well. A purpose for being, if you will, which includes many more than just one individual. When we are in pain, it’s that pain we tend to concentrate on. Self becomes our focus. God wants…God needs…me (and you) to get past focusing on self and start focusing on the very important purpose for which He created us in the first place! Whether we realize it or not, God created everyone for a reason. You and I were each created for a purpose, and we have a mission to accomplish. Whatever that mission is for you, it’s an important assignment that no one else on earth can fulfill quite like you can. Focusing on the negative keeps self on the throne. Being stuck on self keeps us far removed from the goal, assignment, and purpose for which God created us. It keeps us far removed from others. The flip side of the coin is that focusing on our purpose for living keeps us focused on others. In focusing on others, our own pain subsides. There is no room left in our hearts for it.

            The greatest spiritual battle ever occurred in the garden of Gethsemane approximately two thousand years ago. On that evening, one Man, Jesus Christ, was on His knees before His Father, asking that this cup (this dreadful horror that Jesus knew He was about to experience) be taken from Him. Jesus didn’t want to suffer any more than we do. But He knew what was happening. He knew the purpose for which He was brought to earth to be born of woman and take on the form and flesh of man. He knew there was a great task at hand—salvation for all mankind—and He knew what had to be done in order to accomplish it. He didn’t want to suffer, but the bottom line for Him was that He wanted His Father’s will to be accomplished more than His own.

            Therein lies the heart of spiritual warfare. Trusting that the Father knows all that’s happening, that He’s in control of it all, and wanting His will to be done even when it doesn’t line up with our own. Even when it seems like the darkness of the night will never give way to the light of the dawn. Because there’s a greater good at stake. Jesus struggled so much with what He knew was coming…the suffering He was to endure…that He shed great drops of blood. Yet he relented. He submitted to His Father’s will. It is because of His great sacrifice that you and I can have times of refreshing. Our greatest spiritual warfare battles will follow in His footsteps. They will not occur on a battlefield; they will take place on our knees. And what will be happening is that we will be overthrowing the reign that self once had over us, so that others can take its place. That’s when we will amazingly discover that the greatest spiritual warfare battles are followed by the greatest times of refreshing. 

These are my thoughts ... what are yours?  

Tate Publishers