Grieving Through the Holidays

It's that time of year again. Time for joy, holiday parties, gift giving and receiving. Time to worship the One whose birth we celebrate. It's also the time you feel grief so strongly, because the one you love has passed on. Or you lost your job. Or that fire or tornado or hurricane has destroyed all your worldly goods. Or maybe you have recently been diagnosed with a deadly disease. This is the time of year when everyone's happy, right? But you're not. You're in pain.

So, what is it that you can do? How can you get through these holiday celebrations without losing your mind, or having a breakdown ... or worse yet, becoming a hermit? Well, the very first thing you need to do is suck in that next breath of air!  Force it out, and then do it all over again!

The purpose of this blog is not to go through all the causes, symptoms and stages of the grieving process. You already know those, because you're experiencing them as we speak.  The purpose of this blog is to bring encouragement and hope to you through this holiday season.  To share some information with you that could help you get past the pain, and onto healing ... despite those emotions that make you want to hide from the world.

I read a book once called "A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows Through Loss," by Gerald Sitser. Mr. Sitser had experienced his own grievous trauma, and, therefore, was knowledgeable about what he wrote. On page 138, Mr. Sitser made this comment: "Sorrow itself needs the existence of God to validate it as a healthy and legitimate emotion. If there is no God, it makes no difference how we respond. It becomes entirely subjective, like individual tastes in ice cream. If sorrow is subjective, and it doesn't matter how we respond, then why not laugh at tragedy, loss and depression? How do we establish the absoluteness of good vs. bad, anyway? And where did we get the idea of "good" and "bad" in the first place? People feel pain in suffering because suffering is bad. We know this because we have knowledge of what is good. Such knowledge can only come from God."

Following Mr. Sitser's logic leads us to another point: denial of our negative emotions will only keep us in bondage to them for a longer period of time. We must acknowledge their existence. And then we must make a conscious choice to put them in their proper place.  In other words, throw those negative, painful emotions out like yesterday's trash. How? How is that possible? By making a conscious choice to acknowledge and grasp hold of the fact that even through the painful emotions, hope exists. Hope for healing. Tragedy is designed to defeat and destroy us. So, is healing possible? It depends on what you believe! And on what you do about hope! Grieve ... but never without hope.

Grief will destroy us, or it will transform us ... but it will never leave us the same. Our lives will never be the same as they were before the tragic event. But we can move on. And it can be a healthy, positive, productive, and most of all Godly, growth and change. Here are some practical suggestions that will help you overcome grief, especially as you progress through this holiday season:

1)  Prepare yourself. The Bible tells us in Proverbs 4: 23 to "guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."
2) Get a moderate amount of exercise. Exercise has been known to reduce stress.
3) Pay attention to your diet. Stick to the good stuff. Cut down on refined sugar, white flour products, caffeine, nicotine and anything else that is harmful to your body.
4) Get proper rest, as well as a good amount of sleep.
5) Talk to someone. There's healing power in sharing your burdens with someone.
6) Keep a journal of your thoughts, feelings, prayers and answers to prayer. Later, you'll be able to look back and see how much progress you have made.

Make a conscious choice to grab onto the hope of healing. Then take some positive steps in that direction. And don't forget to pat yourself on the back ... because even the smallest of steps is a major accomplishment!

Scratching at Life

Wherever books are sold

One morning I was sitting on my couch having a quiet moment before God.  My couch was my “prayer closet” at the time, and I was praying and reading about Him.  It wasn’t too long after I sat down that I began to hear noises in the corner of the room … scratching.  The sound of scratching got louder and louder.  The house I lived in at the time was built on a pier and beam foundation, and it had crawl-space access to the underneath of the house.  Hearing that scratching, I remembered that I had forgotten to fix the screen that covered the hole accessing the crawl space.  I realized that some sort of animal had probably gotten under the house through that hole, and it was doubtless trying to scratch its way to who knows where.

            Strange how our minds work, but at that point I began to wonder where that animal thought it was going.  It didn’t have to scratch its way through anything to get somewhere.  To get wherever it wanted to go, or any place else in the whole wide world, all it had to do was to go back through the same hole it came through to get underneath the house in the first place … which was probably that unfixed opening … and it would have all the freedom it was seeking.  No struggle, just walk through.  It reminded me of something I once heard about a fly being trapped in a glass.  It has been said that a fly will buzz around that glass until it dies, without realizing that liberty is only as far away as the top of the open container.

            Aren’t we like that?  How much do we “scratch” at life, going nowhere, when freedom is right there, just waiting for us to find it?  Our moments of refreshing could be closer than we realize because God is closer than we realize.

            Times of refreshing.  Oh, man  … we all need them, don’t we?  We have been walking around in the desert (our own personal, barren, wasteland; one that parallels with the desert the Israelites walked around in for forty years) for so long!  We need that oasis of refreshment … we see it in the movies and we know from the Word of God that it is ours for the asking.  “Come unto Me all ye that labor and are heavy laden,” Jesus tells us, “and I will give you rest.”

            We all need that rest.  Even God rested!  He created the world in six days, and on the seventh day He rested.  He even ordained that day as special calling it the Sabbath.  He knew we, as human beings, would need to rest at times, so He commanded us to rest on that day as well.  God’s Son Jesus also rested.  So what makes us think we can do without it?  

            But how do we go about obtaining them?  When do we have time to include them in our busy schedule?  And how can we even believe they are for us personally, when our hearts are in such pain and distress?  Just as the Israelites did, we walk through that desert.   And as if that drought in our spiritual lives weren’t enough, then … after the desert … just like the Israelites, we have battles to fight.  Just when we’re ready to get out of the desert and claim our own “Promised Land,” it’s then that those battles start.  Just when we’re finally ready for a little R & R (rest and relaxation), we’ve got to gear up, don our spiritual armor and face those “giants” that would keep us out of our own promised land. 

We fight battles.  But all the time we’re questioning, and we want to know … how can we reach the point that Joshua led the Israelites to, that point where we too can “rest from war.”  Resting does provide refreshing.  It does provide life.

We were created with what has commonly been referred to as a “God-shaped hole” within the very core of our being.  Something within us needs satisfaction and fulfillment.  Something within us needs peace, joy, love and goodness, just to name a few of the things we seek after.  Somehow, we seem to look for these things in all the wrong places.  We look for love within sexual relationships.  We look for peace within circumstances that are going our way.  We look for joy inside a bottle of alcohol or relief through mood-altering drugs.  We become “a-holics” … work, alcohol, drugs, sex, money, food, sympathy, relationships, or anything-else-we-can-find-a-holic.  What we find in those “places,” is that none of this fits the bill.  Oh, we may find temporary satisfaction, joy or rest from some of these things.  But soon we are seeking again.  We’re looking in all the wrong places.  It reminds me of those bright-colored toys we used to buy for our toddlers … you know, the ones that they would have to find the right shaped object to insert into the same shaped hole.  A square peg, for example, would not fit into a round hole.  The toddler learned manual dexterity, eye-hand coordination, etc., through playing with this toy.  But what this particular toy could not teach us was how to fill that “God-shaped hole” we were created with.  What we need to learn is that just as only the correctly shaped object could fit into its counterpart hole, the only One who can fill a “God-shaped hole” is God Himself.   

            Maybe we’re looking for times of rest and refreshing in all the wrong places as well.  Times of refreshing come from the presence of the Lord.  It is to Him that we must turn for rest and refreshing. It is possible to put aside all our cares and worries for the moment, and come into the presence of the Lord. Not only is it possible, but it's absolutely necessary for our health and well being. Times of refreshing … they are a matter of life and death! 

Your Book's Not Selling!

Are you discouraged with your book sales? Have you been working extra hard to get the word out about what you've written ... yet it doesn't seem like there's much response? TAKE HEART! Be encouraged! Keep on keepin' on! Here's a story that relates:

I took an Executive Secretarial course in college. When I graduated ... guess what I thought I was going to be? It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out ... but guess what else? It didn't happen! I had to work my way up through the ranks, until eventually I got to the management level.

The same thing happened when I wrote my first book. I never had any thoughts at all about becoming a writer or an author. It happened by the grace of God (literally), through my studies to become a licensed belief therapist. Since I knew God was behind the writing of my first book, it followed in my mind that He would touch the hearts and minds of those He wanted to get the word to that He had planted in my heart.  Thus ... the sales would be there! But they weren't. (You'd have thought I would have learned my lesson with the Exec. Secretary job ... but nooooo!)  I literally spent almost all of my waking hours at my computer, marketing my book on line. So much so that God eventually had to say to me: "What's more important ... what you're doing or WHO you're doing it for!" (Notice that there's not a question mark at the end of the sentence. There's not an answer to be given. God was trying to tell me that even though I was working for Him, I was missing out on the most important aspect of life ... relationship with Him.)

I believe that at the time, I had the best marketing agent at Tate Publishing. Yet I'm now into writing my 5th book (as well as having written a behavioral management program for troubled teens, and that one's not published yet) and the sales still aren't there to any huge degree. Tate Publishing is really into recognizing and finding your "niche," which for the most part, at least up to this point, I thought I had. Marketing is definitely not my "niche." (My father was a salesman, and my son was in retail for a long time. But the gift bypassed me!) Yet I'm still marketing on line, as well as traveling to different trade shows, book festivals and book signing events. But still ... few sales.

Being an author is a very difficult field to be in. With a million new books published every year, there are a lot of us out there with something to say. Yet, I'm still working at it ... I have a book that was released  earlier this year (Here...Have A Miracle), and I have another in the production process as we speak. (Walking Toward the Light) And I'm into writing my next book after that. (My 3rd, 4th & 5th endeavors.)

I CAN'T STOP! Why? Because I believe that God is behind it. He's the One who gave me the talent, the words to say, and the ability and equipment to get the job done! He's the one who gave me the message. Sooooooo ... what's happening is that I'm "planting the seeds" and leaving the results up to God. (Check out I Corinthians 3: 6) It's the only way I can keep on doing what I'm doing. Depend on Him for the results.

I hope you will be encouraged with what I've said here. Let it soak in to your own writing career. One other thing that has helped me, is being in touch with other Tate authors. Following their tips, watching their events to see if there's one I might be able to join, and reading their encouraging posts.  I do wonder about the sales from time to time. But I'm going to keep on keeping on ... and I hope you will too!

Spiritual Warfare

Available at barnesandnoble.com

Have you ever seen a movie containing a scene of a battlefield … for example, a scene depicting a civil war battle? You see the scene from a distance; both sides standing out in a huge field, in lines, armed with nothing but their rifles. Sometimes there are so many soldiers that they are in groups. Each side faces the other, and begins to walk towards their enemy at the command of their leaders, who generally are sitting atop a hill or mesa, viewing the same scene that you are watching. They shout their commands, which are passed on down through the ranks to the front lines.

The suspense rises as the two sides march towards each other. When they are within range, one side is commanded to take aim. They shoot, and the front line soldiers on the opposing side drop to the ground, dead. While the front line that shot first reloads their rifles, the second line on the receiving side of the first rally takes aim and fires at the front line that just shot at them. Then their front line soldiers drop to the ground, shot dead. The battle continues like that until ammunition runs low, at which point the two opposing sides join together in hand-to-hand combat. More often than not, the scene ends by showing a “scenic” view of the country-side littered with the dead bodies of many soldiers. Maybe the heroes on both sides are walking through the war-torn country side, commiserating with their second in command about one or another of the reasons for this massacre.

Now, I’m not a military person, but every time I watch a movie with old-timey battle strategies like that, I wonder. I don’t know if it really happened that way, but if it did it would surprise me. It just seems ludicrous to me … both sides standing out there in the wide open field, with no protection from the shots fired at them from across the meadow, no chance of survival unless the man standing face to face with you is a poor shot. No protection … while your enemy has the power to shoot directly at you!

I am very grateful that the battles … especially the spiritual battles … we face today are not like that. I’m glad that God gives us protection ... the armor of God (Ephesians 6: 13 - 17).

The first order of business in any warfare, is to know exactly who your enemy is. Our true enemy does not line up in a field or meadow with a neatly-pressed uniform, and take aim across space against you, a totally unprotected, brave, but extremely fearful, human being, who is just standing there waiting to die. Your enemy is one you cannot see with your eyes of flesh. He is the evil one who is still around after having deceived Eve in the Garden of Eden. He puts his boney fingers into the “pot” and stirs up all kinds of strife and trouble, even in this day and age. He knows exactly what circumstances to use to get us off track, exactly what button to push and when. Without God, we would have no defense. However, as a first line of defense, God tells us exactly who our enemy is, so that we can know exactly who we should be fighting against … and who we shouldn’t.

Has anybody ever asked you: "Did you put on your armor today?" I've had that question asked of me many times in my Christian walk. I’ve thought about and meditated upon the armor of God for many years. I used to picture myself putting on this armor … placing the helmet on my head, buckling the breastplate around my chest, and folding my pant legs in exactly the right manner so as to be able to tuck them into my boots. Grabbing up the shield and sword, I was on my way into battle. But God doesn’t leave us in our foolishness for very long. I came to realize that spiritual armor is not just what we envision (through prayer) ourselves putting on every morning when we wake up.  These are very real pieces of armor that we must hone and manage our very lives with!

The first piece of armor I felt God gave me, was the helmet of salvation. That’s extremely important. We must know that we know that we are saved. This is not a matter of pride because we think we’ve done something good, so we’re going to Heaven. It’s a matter of accepting what Jesus did for us, and taking Him at His word. About this one point (our salvation) we must be absolutely sure. If doubt comes in to this issue, if we are unsure about our salvation, we will never win any spiritual battles.

Next comes the breastplate of righteousness. Interesting concept, righteousness. In this day and age when so many believe that “what’s right for you may not necessarily be right for me," it’s hard to get back to the basics of right and wrong. There are basic “rights” and “wrongs,” you know. God’s Word says so. Yes, some things are good and/or right for one that would not be good or right for another. But what is written in the Bible by the Holy Spirit of God, there can be no question or doubt about. If God says it, it’s a done deal. Righteousness is holy and upright living. Decency and honesty. It is not a bullet-proof vest that we need for protection, it’s a true and sincere desire for upright living. We don’t don a literal vest, or breastplate, we cultivate and develop a desire for doing what’s right, and then we begin to conform our actions to that desire. That’s what the “breastplate of righteousness” is all about!

Having our feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace means that we “walk” (live) in peace with all, as far as we have the ability to do so. Once again, this is not an actual putting on of a pair of boots. It’s a style of living that will help keep us protected against harm. The shield of faith … that one’s pretty obvious. Developing and exercising faith, provides a shield that will protect us from the tricks and deceptions of our enemy. And the sword of the Spirit … come to learn and know God’s Word, because through it and by it we can have the weapon we need to win the face-off with our enemy. With it, we can avoid many pitfalls that could produce harm, or even death, in our lives.

So you see that the pieces of spiritual armor are not something you "put on" every morning when you wake up, and "take off" at night when you go to bed.  This armor is very real concepts that each of us need to be developing and living by.  It is this armor that will help us overcome the battles we face. With this kind of protection, we're sure to be the victor!

Legislating Humanity

You'd think we'd learn ... humanity's problems cannot be solved through legislation.  

We've just come through the most extensive, expensive mid-term election process of my lifetime. People were not happy with the political climate as it stood. Therefore, many incumbents were voted out of office, and  "new kids on the block" replaced them.  Do we really think that will help? Will Washington change its policies and procedures now, just because there are more Republicans there?  Do we not realize that this current administration is coming in on the tail end of the last one? And the last one came in on the tail end of the one before? Each has had to deal with and overcome the faux pas of the administration before it.

When will we learn ... there will always be Democrats. There will always be Republicans.  There will always be the rich and the poor. There will always be the white and the black. There will always be men and women. There will always be lines and boundaries over which some cannot resist crossing.  There will always be greed, pride, anger, and hunger for power. There will always be problems to solve, and there will always be people sitting on the opposite sides of the fence on how to solve them. 

That's because humanity in and of itself is not only imperfect, but it also has a sin nature to deal with.

We are each uniquely created. We are all different, with differing viewpoints and opinions.You cannot legislate humanity. If you try, what you'll end up with is so many laws that there will be no room left on earth to write them all down!  Certainly there would not be enough law enforcement officers to enforce all the laws and catch all the "criminals," or enough time to try them all in a court of law, or space enough to house them all in prison. In fact, who would determine who is the "criminal," since last time I looked, law enforcement officers are human as well, and they are endowed with the same imperfect human nature that the rest of us are! Well then, maybe we should just lock everybody up!

Ridiculous? Yes. The "cure" for humanity is not in more, or even different, legislation. When will we realize ... the only "cure" for humanity is to be found in Jesus Christ.

Chilvary Is Not Dead

Available at Tate Publishing

Just in case you were wondering, I found the answer ... chivalry is not dead yet.  With a world full of crime, passion, anger, drive-by shootings, deceit, greed, abuse, and I could go on, where the portrayal of negative far outweighs the portrayal of positive in the media, we often lose sight of the many good deeds that go unnoticed. But this one won't.  

Out here in west Texas, we have a lot of highways. Long-distance travel is a way of life around here.  It's important to have a decent, mechanically sound vehicle.  On my way to a book-signing event this past weekend, I had a blow-out.  There began the miracle. The first blessing was that the car didn't roll.  Strange, because I was travelling at 70 mph (the posted speed limit). I've been driving for almost 50 years now, and I always have thought that if you were traveling fast when a blow-out occurred, your car would, at the very least, shimmy. And the possibility of it rolling was very realistic. But, I didn't even feel the blow-out at all! I just noticed smoke coming from the back of my vehicle, and pulled over.

Anything could have happened at that point. But after a short prayer, the second blessing occurred. Three gentlemen pulled over to help me out. Two changed the tire, and the third made sure the balance of my trip was safe. He made sure I got to the next town safely, got the tire replaced, and even made sure I got to my destination safely. Doesn't sound like much, you say? You'd have had to have been there. This young man went way above and beyond the "call of duty." His reasoning for doing all he did was, "If it were my mother, or my wife, or my sister, I'd want someone to do it for them."

We are each blessed with gifts and talents. Some know their gifts and talents, and use them to the fullest. Some don't yet realize what their gifts and talents are.  My story relates to the parable of the Good Samaritan. Luke 10: 25 - 37 tells the story of a certain man who was travelling along the road to Jericho, when he fell into the hands of some robbers. He was beaten, stripped and his possessions were taken. Some time later, three other men happened upon this now half-dead man. One was a priest, another was a Levite (the same as the victim). Neither stopped to help. Then came a Samaritan. Now, the Samaritans and the Levites were not on the best of terms ... yet the Samaritan was the one who helped the man who had been beaten and robbed. And not only did he assist the fallen Levite, but the Samaritan also provided the means by which all needed care could be given upon his departure.

Sound familiar? If not, read the beginning paragraphs again. My dilemma was not as life threatening as was the Levite's. But I was stuck nonetheless.  I needed help. In the parable, Jesus was teaching a lawyer, no less, about life.  "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind," He said in verse 27, "and your neighbor as yourself." Jesus was telling this lawyer that this is how we are to treat each other. It's what life is all about. It's why we were created in the first place. And it's where the old saying came from: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

Guardian angels do exist. They are real. Mine sent a wonderful "good samaritan" to help me that day. What did I learn from this experience? I learned that chilvary is not dead. I learned that miracles do still happen. And I learned that I should be passing the blessing on to others.  Keep your eyes peeled. There may be someone out there who needs your help!

5 more tips for promoting/marketing your books

Thanks again Jane for allowing me to share.

This week I am going to put all 5 tips under the heading of speaking engagements. As you know, the privilege to speak to any group is a great opportunity to let people know you better and understand the inspiration for writing your book. If people can catch your heart, they will want  your book. These are some of the things you need to think about before you send out your information to groups.

1. How far are you willing to travel or can you travel and make a profit? You need to think about gas, hotel, food, and other things.
2. Who are you wanting to speak to?

•         Women's groups
•          Couples
•          MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers)
•          Bible Study groups
•          Other

3.     To find these organizations, you need to know who you are going to   

         contact. Start with the largest denominator and work down.

• organization name
• contact name
• address
• city
• state
• zip
• denomination
• phone
• fax
• email
• website
• notes
• Start with their broadest website then church website and mail regularly.

4.  Do you have friends or family in the area to stay with?

5.  Do you have author friends who can "team speak" with you to share expenses?

6. Bonus: Make a video of your speech and use it in your press kit...We will talk about them next week.

Is It REALLY Racial Profiling?

I don't get it. Keep in mind as you read this post, that I'm probably the least political person you know. Another thing about me ... I'm not prejudiced.  I don't like labels and putting people in "boxes."  So when you're talking about racial profiling, I'm just not on board.  I was raised in a mixed neighborhood, so I just have "people" inbred into me, not the color of their skin.  Oh, I'm well aware that the first thing you see when you meet a new person, is whether that person is male or female. And it's also quite obvious what the color of their skin is. But to me, neither their sex nor the color of their skin means much in terms of who they are as a person. It's who they are as an individual person that's important.  Now, I've known people who just could not understand that. And then I've also known people of a different skin color than mine, who totally got it. They were raised that way too!

So, I'm having a hard time wrapping my brain around the problem along the United States/Mexico border. Illegal immigrants. Problems with the drug cartels. And why the big cry is racial profiling.  I mean, doesn't it make common sense that if the problem is along the Mexican/United States border, it would involve Mexican illegals? People from the Hispanic race, who are raised in Mexico, who have not obtained legal admission to the United States? You probably wouldn't find too many German illegals coming across that border. Or Africans. We don't have trouble with illegals along the United States/Canadian border, do we? Or did I miss that news story? I don't think so! But if we did, the problem would then involve Canadian illegals. What other country directly borders ours? None! So is it really racial profiling? Or is it just something else to protest about?

Now, I'm all for protesting when something is wrong.  But in this case, what is it about the word "illegal" that we are not understanding?  You know, when you're a rancher in this part of the "woods," and you see a bunch of people who don't normally belong there, hiking across your ranch carrying semi-automatic weapons ... it's time to do something! And it doesn't matter what the color of their skin is! We're hearing news stories all the time lately about people being killed along that border ... and all the protesters can worry about is racial profiling?!? That just doesn't make sense to me!

Besides the fact that I've lived in the United States all my life ... and besides the fact that I now live in Texas ... do you know what really brought this travisty "home" to me? Watching one of the news stories on television one day, I saw an interview with a woman of a different nationality who had become a citizen of our country. This woman worked very hard to achieve this most important goal.  Her reaction to all the news stories about illegal aliens, as well as the new laws recently passed in Arizona concerning how the authorities were to deal with them, was that she was offended! And not for the reasons you might think! Her statement was that she worked hard to get where she was, and she was "offended" that we would allow others to have the same rights and life styles without having to work for them like she had to. I for one, don't blame her!

It's no wonder we have problems. We allow ourselves to be side-tracked from the real issues, with some issues other than the ones that need dealing with. People are losing their lives. Somehow it seems that should be the priority! The issue of racial profiling may have substance elsewhere, but it shouldn't be the priority in dealing with the issues we are currently having along the United States/Mexico border.

Those are my thoughts. What are yours?

To Judge or Not to Judge

Wherever books are sold

How many times have you heard someone say we are not to judge others? How many take offense when they are told they are doing something wrong? How many times have you heard, "Even Jesus didn't come to judge us!" Yet, how can we stay away from what is wrong, if we don't "judge" it as being so? What do we do about this dilemma?

It's true that Jesus didn't come to this world to judge us. He came to preach the kingdom of God and to bear witness to the truth. But have no doubt ... Jesus will some day be our Judge. God is not only a God of grace and mercy, but He is a just God as well. He has committed all judgment unto Jesus Christ, and He has appointed a day for the judgment of the world to take place.

This task of judgment belongs to Jesus ... it does not belong to us. The Bible strongly warns us against indulging in judgment of others. Matthew, chapter 7, talks to us about removing the beam in our own eye before we consider the "mote" (speck) in our brother's eye. It warns us not to judge others, that we might not be judged. And if that's not enough, Romans 2: 1-3 warns us that we condemn ourselves when we judge others!

However, while judgment is forbidden in Scripture, admonishment and reproof are actually encouraged in the Word of God. We are urged in Colossians 3: 16 to "teach and admonish each other in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs..." And the Bible goes beyond just advising and encouraging us to admonish each other. It implies that admonishment and reproof are our duties. II Timothy 4: 2 tells us to "...reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine." And Titus 2: 15 tells us to "speak and exhort and rebuke with all authority."

So, where do we draw the line? Judgment is forbidden, but admonishment, reproof and rebuke are encouraged, and even commanded. Perhaps a good way to begin looking at this issue is to remind ourselves just what the whole point of reproof is all about. What is its purpose? And what is reproof supposed to accomplish?

Judgment carries with it the element of finality. Reproof, and even rebuking someone, carry an element of learning, repentance from sin, and restoration to unity. Is our intention to teach another? Do we want to correct them so that they may be brought back into the way of righteousness? Even in our sharp rebuke, is the soundness of the person's faith our motive? Godly reproof will help someone recover themselves out of the snare of the devil. And this recovery always brings honor.

We need to be sure about our own motives before reproving another.

Those are my thoughts. What are yours?

Poverty Mentality

This morning a friend posed an interesting question concerning our human, natural instinct that circumvents "change" at all costs. Change is not easy for us, as she so eloquently put it.  Since this is a topic that I write about, I was interested in what she was saying, and I posted on her query. Also, since she is a nutritionist and very active in helping people overcome health issues, the subject naturally leaned in that direction as well.  I'm hoping that you benefit from the conversation below:

Angela: "Thinking about some lessons as of late about how we live in a spirit of poverty. Pondering this, this morning about how we let the spirit of poverty control us or make us believe wrong things about God's promise of His provisions. I'm not talking just finances either. Mulling over the spirit of poverty and how it can creep in and we can find ourselves impoverished: mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially and physically. How does it affect us? Are we sick/sickly/tired/run down because we believe our "condition" can never improve? Are we distant in our relationships because we have been hurt? Are we spiritually awake in our lives? Financially is there hope that things will change for us? Can and will God truly meet all of our needs?  Will our circumstances ever change?  Things to ponder in light of "He will supply ALL our needs" What do WE need to change in our belief patterns, faith patterns, emotional patterns, and behaviors? Can we begin to ACT as we should believe....that He WILL supply for all our needs.

"Jane, too often, I feel, or rather, believe, that it is our BELIEFS that keep us stuck in the poverty. Now, I'm not talking when $$ is TRULY so tight. I'm not trying to harass anyone here about just "get up and get yourself out of poverty. It's real, it exists. But I know you work very strongly with faith and belief patterns. I'd love if you could share some thoughts here......how CAN we begin to move in faith and belief and move towards actions of changing our lives and coming out of the different types of poverty in our lives. Will you share?"

Jane: "Sure, Angela. But as you have said, it's not just a matter of "get up and get yourself out" ... of anything, poverty mentality included. Believe it or not, this is what "Duct Tape for the Christian Mouth" is all about ... changing old, unproductive and/or inappropriate thought patterns and belief systems, habits and traditions.

"The REAL issue is to get back to the root cause of the belief. Are we believing something that is true, or not? If it's not truth, do we still want to hang onto that belief? Often when I'm asked this question, I compare it to hoeing weeds. I just can't wrap my brain around the principle of hoeing weeds! I do understand that we need to get rid of those weeds, or they will overtake our yards, and then some! But hoeing them only takes off the top of the weed. There's still a root system underneath the ground, and that root will grow thicker, fuller and bigger now that we have taken off its head ... and we'll have an even greater problem than we had before!

"The same is true with our beliefs, ideas, attitudes and habits. We must get back to the root cause. And then we must choose. Our choices are: 1) to still hang onto that old way of thinking, OR 2) to toss it out like yesterday's trash, and replace it with TRUTH!

"While this is not an easy process, especially since we are strong willed, independent and most often comfortable with what is familiar to us, it is possible. It depends on how bad we want it. How badly do we want change, even change for the better? What is priority in our lives, we will find time for. We will find a way.

"This is true not just with the poverty mentality that you're talking about, but it's true even with our health. I was literally forced into taking a step back and doing something on the offensive about my health. I've always wanted to "grow old gracefully." But there came an issue in my life (migraines) that caused me to re-work my thinking. At the same time I was developing migraines, I was also developing an allergy to drugs. While sitting in the allergist's office one day, I read a poster on his wall about the immune system. It fit right into my belief that God created our bodies to be healthy, and to ward off illnesses when they attack. And He gave us the "equipment" to do it. One of those things is our immune system. When the immune system has a glitch in it, that's when it loses it's ability to ward off that which would make us sick.

"Long story made short, I realized that I needed to take the pain medicines the doctor was prescribing, when the migraine hit. But I also realized that while those drugs were getting rid of the symptoms, they were doing nothing about getting rid of the root cause of those migraines. And just like those root systems that I talked about above, the root cause of the migraines needed to be dealt with. That's when I started going on the offensive with my health.

"And a change in my thinking processes and belief system was necessary to carry it out. Are nutritional supplements and foods expensive? Yes! But I'd much rather spend my money on supplements that KEEP me healthy, than on drugs to GET me healthy. It's taken a while to get to this place, but most times now I don't even have to medicate it when I get a headache!

"This principle of change is crucial to our lives! Freedom without responsibility equals chaos ... and chaos is what has happened in our minds and in our bodies of late. For more information on this subject, please see "Duct Tape for the Christian Mouth." 

Those are my thoughts, what are yours?

Tate Publishers, or wherever books are sold

 

 

 

Why Do People Falter?

Available at Tate Publishing

Interview question asked of me: "Why do you think so many people tend to falter in their beliefs when times get tough?"

My answer: 

God gave us 5 senses … hearing, sight, taste, touch and smell. He gave us those abilities so that we could stay in touch with the world which He created for us to live in.  He also gave us His Spirit, so that we could stay in touch with Heaven. He also had to create us with an awesome power, called the power of choice. (That’s another story for another writing! ;o}) In our self-willed, self-centered, independent nature, we have grown into a state of becoming more and more “dependent” upon our five senses, and less and less dependent on God’s Holy Spirit. What we can hear, see, taste, feel and smell has become more real to us than what cannot be detected by those five senses.  The world has become more and more dominant in our lives, than what comes after this fleshly life is over.  Worldly “reality,” instead of spiritual “truth.” That which we are used to depending upon (the world), fails us when traumas and tragedies strike because what has not been developed in our lives(spiritual relationship with God), is then not as obvious to be found when those hard times hit. It’s like exercise. Exercise strengthens the physical body, and then when that strength is needed, it has already been developed. Without even a moderate amount of movement (exercise), that strength would not be there when we need it. It’s the same way spiritually and emotionally.

Yet, there’s still something within each of us that’s crying out for the spiritual. We see it all over the place in this day and age, especially through the entertainment industry. There are more ghost chasing stories, more stories about mediums and the like, more stories about spiritual powers, on TV and in the movies today than ever before. The problem is that God (and we) has an enemy; he’s the father of lies. He’s the one who deceived Eve all the way back in the Garden of Eden so many years ago, and he’s still around today trying to deceive anyone who will listen. And through his deception, who God really is and what He will or won’t do, gets twisted in our minds and hearts. It’s so critical that we know where any spiritual “power” comes from, so that we do not fall into that deception. Because guess what? That deception will also fail us in times of need. 

God is the only One who sustains. I’m aware that many go through tough situations without the knowledge of His existence, but truthfully, I don’t know how they do it. Without Him and His real and active presence in my life, I would not be here writing these words. There’s absolutely nothing like a touch on your mind and/or heart by God when you’re at your deepest, darkest point. Circumstances may or may not change, but you surely will.

#6-#10 Tips for Marketing Books

Thanks again Jane, for letting me guest blog again.

#6- Write a great book. If it is good, people talk. If people talk, the books sell.

#7- Write articles for online and hard-copy magazines. Keep your eyes open for opportunities to do this.

#8 - Write a short-story and put it on your website as a free down-load.

#9 - Write "between the books" chapters for your readers to enjoy while they are waiting on the next book. It keeps the characters fresh in their mind. Offer the chapters on your website. Write one short chapter a week or month.

#10 - Have contests on facebook. Give away a free book for those who post on your profile. You can ask a question to which there is no "correct" answer. The point is to have people interested in your book. It helps to show that you care about your readers.

"Drunk-orexia" - A Disease?

This morning on MSNBC News there was a discussion about the new, up-and-coming "disease" called "drunk-orexia." Drunk-orexia is when a person goes on a binge drinking spree, and then does not eat properly in order to balance off the caloric intake consumed through the alcohol.  The person may not eat at all, or they may eat only junk foods just to keep something in their stomach. The discussion involved this activity becoming a significant concern on college campuses these days. The "expert" being interviewed said that the practice has been going on for a long time, but is once again coming to the forefront on college campuses. This activity is a social malady, participated in partially because young people just don't know what to do with their new-found freedom. They want to be a part of their social group, while still maintaining their thin body forms and weight. 

Drunk-orexia ... a new one on me. I've heard of "anorexia" (an eating disorder) and a lot of other "rexias," but "drunk-orexia" is new to my ears and basic foundational knowledge.  I'm not sure what's worse: that this activity is occurring, or that it's occurring so frequently that we have had to put a name to it! Granted, it's been a long time since I was in college, and drinking was not new to us during those youthful years. But binge drinking followed by starvation was unheard of back then. 

I'm concerned about the label: "disease." As far as I know, diseases don't come all wrapped up in a socially appealing bottle. How easy it would be to eliminate societies maladies if that were the case. No, I believe the problem goes much deeper than that. And I also believe that it will continue to get worse unless we get all the way back to the root cause of the problem.

We do what we do because we believe what we believe.  Self-esteem and a balanced sense of self-respect is at the core of the issue. Now, I'm fully aware that emotional issues can drastically affect our physical bodies. And what once started out to be a social, fun activity, can end up in the vice grip of addiction and self-degradation. But if we don't get back to the root cause of this, we will never conquer it.

Our teenage years are often the most confusing and puzzling years of our lives. Somewhere between the times when we enjoyed playing with Tonka trucks and baby dolls, to the times when we are entrenched in career responsibilities and raising our own families, something happened. In those brief eight years of life we grew up. Or at least teens think they did.  A strong, firm foundation is absolutely essential ... before they get to the place of having to become involved in drunk-orexia activities just to be accepted by their peers.  

The problem runs deep into our psyche. Human beings, especially teens and pre-teens, need structure and discipline. They need to know that they have value and worth, and that their lives have meaning and purpose. I believe that once their feet are firmly planted on a solid foundation of balance in this, they are far less likely to develop this drunk-orexia "disease," and far more likely to have some real, non-life-threatening fun. As parents, teachers, Sunday School teachers, youth group leaders, mentors, counselors and case workers (and anyone else who works with youth), we have an amazing and awesome opportunity to help our children and our teens to grow into a positive, productive, healthy, and Godly life pathway.

Those are my thoughts, what are yours?

Boot Camps for Troubled Teens

For more info, click here

As an author of a behavioral management program for troubled teens, I'm always doing on line research on the subject. Quite often I come across blogs and websites about boot camp type programs. As a former Texas Youth Commission employee, who was assigned to work at their now closed boot camp, I take a vested interest in these type of programs.  This evening I came across a blog (click here to read the blog) written on boot camps in general, and being an advocate, I responded. Here is my response:

"I am an advocate for boot camp programs for troubled teens … at least in general … because I worked for one that I considered to be one of the best. It was a Texas Youth Commission facility.

"I was the community relations coordinator at the boot camp, and as such, part of my responsibilities included the social aspects of youth rehabilitation. I had constant contact with the youth, as well as the staff responsible for their daily care. Our staff, while not perfect in every respect, was the absolute best! We did not yell or scream at the youth, as has been generally associated with boot camps, and as has been referred to in your article above. Our program was based on structure, discipline and respect.

"While it was not my “job,” part of my “goal” became to instill within any of our youth who would listen, a sense of value and self-worth. Their lives had meaning and purpose. And once they grasped hold of that concept, they could begin to understand that they were selling themselves short through their actions. No program will “reach” every youth participant, and some at our boot camp did not receive this possibility either. But how great it was when one of them did!

"Human beings need structure and discipline, troubled teens notwithstanding. Some of them knew absolutely nothing about this concept until coming to our facility. As the community relations coordinator, another part of my job was to be the liaison between the facility and the surrounding communities. As such, I have received and entertained many questions from the public about this boot camp idea and philosophy of yelling, screaming and in general, military behavior. Yes, we wore uniforms. And yes, it most definitely was a “yes, sir” “no, sir” atmosphere. What’s wrong with that? To me, ma’am and sir are indicative of respect, and I see nothing wrong with teaching respect. In fact, the question becomes … just how do you teach a youth who has been entrenched in negative lifestyles and inappropriate behavior, to learn how to respect others? You show them! So not only were our youth expected to be respectful towards staff, but staff was respectful to them as well. I, for one, called them “sir” in my communication with them!

'Many of the youth left our facility with whole new outlooks on life, and hope for their futures. So, yes … I’m a teen boot camp advocate!

"Jane E. Harber, author
“Quit Digging! A Lifeline of Hope for Troubled Teens"

Those are my thoughts. What are yours?

5 Tips For Promoting Your Book(s)

I appreciate the opportunity to guest blog for author, Jane Harber. Hopefully, this will be a help to her readers. 

I have been asked by my author friends to give them a few tips on getting more book sales. Today I will give 5 tips. I will be giving 5 tips for book sales every week. Be sure to keep checking in to see the new posts.

1.    Don't be shy about telling people you know that you have a contract to have your book published. Have someone take a picture of you with your contract and include it with an article that you have written about your book and the process you have been through. This works really well in a small hometown paper. If you grew up in a small town, don't forget to send this to them also.

2.     If you don't have a facebook profile page, you really need to get one. Tell everyone about your book, but be sure to be yourself, also. Put your book title and your website address in your permanent information box under your profile picture. That way, you don't have to be "in your face" to people about your book.

3.     Send an email to your email contacts about your book. If it has been out a while, offer it at a discounted price. Paypal has a button you can put on a simple email so that those who would rather use a credit card to purchase can do so right on the email.

4.     Speaking of Paypal, go to paypal.com and study all of the options they have for you. I like them because they don't charge unless you have a sale. Then it is just a small percentage. They have so much to offer, you will need to take a little time to see how to best utilize everything. I put paypal buttons on my weekly newsletter and shopping carts on my website. It is handy for everyone.

5.    Subscribe to blogs that have helpful hints and marketing help. I have a dozen that I read every week. I take notes on the things that I think will work for me and delete the things I am not ready for. I have a folder in my email for those who are the best of the best ideas. I spend anywhere from 1 to 5 hrs a day marketing.

If you have questions about any of these 5 tips or want more details, leave a comment and I will get back to you.

I offer personal coaching to authors. The first week is $5. If you find my coaching helpful, the cost is $50 per month. Contact me at http://elainelittau.com/

The Breath of Life

Wherever books are sold

Have you ever been compared to a balloon? Me neither. Until this morning ...

We have a time for children during our Sunday morning worship. This morning, before church, a young one gave my pastor a balloon.  So, of course he brought it into the sermon. He held it up before the congregation, and asked one of the kids sitting beside him what was inside that balloon. She answered, "Nothing!" "Are you sure?" asked the pastor. "Yep." "There's nothing inside this balloon?" "Nope." "How about air? Is there air inside this balloon?" "Ohhhh, yes!!!" was the resounding reply. "Where did that air come from?" he asked. "It came from God," a little boy answered. After pulling himself together, the pastor laughed as he explained, "Yes, it's God's air, but it came from your mouth. Right?"

Strange how our minds work, but as all this was going on up at the altar, I was thinking about the air in that balloon.  I thought about how it made that balloon look. With no air in the balloon, the balloon is flat as a pancake.  With air in it, it had life. Big, bouncy, fun. Made me think about us.

God created the world, and everything in it. Then He created humanity. He took the dust of the earth and worked with it much the same as a potter works with clay. He molded it, fashioned it, and formed it, and the final result was a man, whom He called Adam.  But Adam, even though he now had a body, did not yet have life. It wasn't until God breathed into him the breath of life, that Adam came alive. Kind of like that balloon. It existed, it was. But not until that young boy blew air into it, did it become a toy to be played with.

Bet you thought that was the end of the story, right? Nope. Take that same balloon and instead of blowing your own air into it, fill it with helium instead. What happens then? Suddenly that balloon has new life! Now that balloon can fly! Let go of the string, and that balloon will rise as far as it can go, if you happen to be inside. And it will fly as far as the eye can see, if you happen to be outside. New life.

That's what the Holy Spirit of God does for us and in us. We are born. But when we become Christians, the Holy Spirit breathes new life into us, and we become born again. No, we did not return to our mother's womb. The new birth I speak of here is spiritual. We ask for, and are given, forgiveness for our wrong doings, and we accept the truth of what Jesus has done for us. We accept His gift and invite Him to live in our hearts and guide our lives. He brings with Him one of the most awesome gifts we will ever receive ... that of the Holy Spirit. New life is breathed into the very core of our being, and every fiber of our being is renewed and rejuvenated.

At the moment of conception, we are kind of like that flat balloon. When we are born, God breathes that breath of life into our lungs, and we are alive ... similar to the balloon blown up by that little child.  But then, the most amazing thing happens when we become Christians. New life, given by the power and grace of the Holy Spirit ... and through that new life, we can fly as far as the eye can see!

Survival of the Fittest; Surviving in this Financially-Driven Society

Surviving in this financially-driven society has become quite a feat. A long time ago, I made a conscious choice. I decided that I never wanted to be rich. I wanted to be able to "make it," ie: pay my bills, and have a little left over for the extras that I'd like to do or have. But I didn't want to be wealthy. The reason? Because I wanted to be liked or not liked, as the case may be, for who I was ... not for what I had.

There's a story told in Luke 15: 11 - 32, about a young man who was disheartened with his life at home. We don’t know the details of this young man’s growing up years or the reasons behind his displeasure and malcontent. We don’t know what type of personality his family members had or what type of personality he had. But because of what happened next, we do have a basic understanding of his family’s financial status. The young man wanted to leave home, so he went to his father and asked him for his inheritance. His father, operating out of wisdom that we are hard-pressed to understand until later on in the story, went along with his son’s request. The son then took that inheritance, left the “confines” of his home and family, and went to a faraway place.

It wasn’t long before the son was in trouble. He spent all his money on riotous living, and while he did so, he was deluged with friends. But soon the inheritance was gone, and because of that, his so-called "friends" left him as well. It so happened at about that same time, that the land he was living in began to experience a disastrous famine. Food was scarce. This prodigal son had no money left,  and no friends around to help him. So he was forced to seek employment. A neighborly citizen of the land hired him and sent him out to feed his pigs. The prodigal son, who once lived “high on the hog,” was now reduced to feeding them.

There have been times in my life when I regretted making that earlier decision about my finances ... especially because it turned out to be exactly what happened in my life. The good part is that I have been blessed with friends. True friends. Real friends. Friends who have been with me through thick and thin. Friends who cared enough to care for me, and care about me. Friends who have not hesitated to confront me when I needed it, and friends who have had enough courage and compassion to put their arm around my shoulder when I needed comfort. And ... friends who have not run in the opposite direction because I had financial needs.

The seemingly not-so-good part is that I've lived most of my life from paycheck to paycheck. Those of you who are struggling in this current recession, understand what that means. There have been many times when I have wondered whether we were going to make it or not. This concern was exacerbated greatly because I have an inbred craving to get my bills paid on time, to keep my good credit standing, and to get out of debt. It was tough when the money ran out before the month did. But somehow we always had a roof over our heads, food on the table and clothes on our backs.

Because of the famine in the land, there soon came a time when there was not much for that young lad to eat. Eventually, he became so hungry that he considered eating the food he was giving to the pigs. Later, we will go on with the end of the story. But for now let’s examine just what it was that put this young man … and us … into the position of having to eat from a pigsty.

There is a saying in this world, “The grass is always greener on the other side.” It seems like somebody else always has “it” better. They have more fun than we do … or more money … or more laughs … or a bigger house … or a better car. Their kids behave better than ours … everybody likes them better … or they go on more vacations. They’ve got it easy, we’ve got it tough. Life is just passing us by. It seems like many people are discontent with their lives, just like that prodigal son. With the entrance of sin into the world, our relationship and communion with God was severed. We became separated from our Heavenly Father. At this occurrence, a vacuum was created — a hole, if you will – in our beings. We were no longer complete and whole; we were apart from the presence of God. So our self-nature filled in the gap. Instead of God being the center of our beings, self took the place. And with self on the throne, down we went.

The prodigal son’s experience personifies what we all go through. Self-nature becomes dominant, and selfishness is the outcome. Just as this young man, we want our part … and we want it now! The sensual lifestyle looks good, but we are blind to the realization that all that glitters is not gold. Focusing on the fleshly desires, our spiritual lives have become impoverished. When that happens, we generally hit the bottom of the barrel in self-degradation, humiliation, corruption, and disgrace. We have become “starved.” We have become blind to the truth that this fleshly life is but a wisp, a vapor that vanishes away after a short period of time. We have forgotten that soon we will be facing eternity, for our spirits will live on forever. This self-degradation … this separation … is something we may or may not even realize, depending upon whether our face is literally in the “pigsty,” or the stigma is spiritual and character related. In either case, we’ve all been there.

All that may look pretty bleak to you, but there is hope! As he came face-to-face with the food in that pigsty, a realization came to the prodigal son … the realization of what he had left behind. His father had servants, and they were eating better than him! He was dying of starvation, yet his very own father could restore him to life. All he had to do was go home! Once this unmistakable insight hit him, he immediately knew what he had to do. He decided that he would go to his father and admit his sin. The lad knew that because of his sin he was no longer worthy to be thought of as a son. So he would ask his dad to hire him on as one of the servants! Food, clothing, and shelter would once again be his, not to mention the fact that his life would be spared.

The prodigal son had an awakening, an awareness and conscious knowledge of his fragile position in life. He also had a revelation about what he needed to do in order for his life to be spared. One more thing he had at that point, which he did not realize that he possessed the moment before, was a choice. He knew where he was and knew what he had to do to get out of the mess he was in. Now he had a choice; he could do what was necessary (repent and go home), or abstain from action and stay like he was.

I've been faced with that same choice. While I've never had my face literally in a pigsty (thank God!), I've had to change the way I was doing things; change the way I handled my finances. Change details such as the way I grocery shopped, or the amount of clothes or household items I bought. Change the amount of cable channels I have had. But through the years, we've always had a roof over our heads, food on our table and clothes on our backs.  Looking back at some of those times in my life, I have no idea how we made it through those financial droughts. Well, yes I do. It was a God thing for sure.

I've also had to repent many times for my lack of trust and for my worrying. And I've had to get some priorities straight. Sometimes we can't see the forest for the trees ... and my financial life was like that. Now I've lived long enough to be able to look back on some things. And I can tell you in all honesty that it's God who sustains me. God is real, He's alive and He's a good God. And He cares about His children ... even their financial states.  We have all been separated from Him, as was the prodigal son separated from his father.  But we, too, have the same choice in life. We can repent and return to the Father. And place even our finances in His most capable hands, using wisdom from His Word to conduct our financial matters. And when we do, we will be among the "fittest."

Wherever books are sold

Your Heart is NOT Your Friend!

There came an issue of grief at one point in my life. I did the best I could to override the pain with prayer and reading and quoting comforting Scriptures. As I battled, a simple yet very profound thought came to me that I believe might help others as well. That morning I discovered that my heart is not my friend. Now, I know that sounds strange. But just for a minute, try to follow me in this: my heart wants to remember and feel the pain of child rebellion, my own as well as my children's. My heart almost constantly remembers and feels the pain of widowhood and having been alone for so many years. Always at the wrong moment, my heart slams me with the pain of rejection and betrayal. And we could go on and on. My heart is not my friend. No friend wants you to remain captive and enslaved to painful experiences.

            The question is why? Why do our hearts want to remember and feel such hurt? And the answer is…so it will never happen again! It’s the heart’s defense mechanism, so to speak, to remember everything that went sour in our lives so that we won’t fall into that same trap again. Remember this? Remember that? Remember how it felt? Our hearts don’t want to be hurt anymore, so they throw up walls of protection against being hurt again. We could give these walls names…anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, fear, to mention just a few. These things stand in defense of our hurting hearts, making certain that we “never do that again!” One thing about those walls, though: they may protect the pain that our hearts hold so that we won’t be hurt again, but guess what else they do? They also provide a barrier against God’s blessings and keep them from getting in! This setup that our emotions have developed keeps us focused upon self, and the end result is that we become unable to receive God’s promises and blessings.

            I’m not the only one this happens to. More than likely, you have experienced something similar as well. Later that evening, I received a phone call from a friend who was also going through a hard time. As he spoke, I was praying, asking God for wisdom. When my friend asked, I explained what was happening to him was that his life was being “tilled up” right then. Before you can plant seeds, the soil needs to be prepared. It’s the same with us, especially emotionally. When God is about to bring new things into our lives or head our lives in a new direction, our emotions and thought processes need to be tilled up so we can get rid of the old and replace it with the new. You see, while my heart is not my friend, God is. He’s your friend as well. God does not want us to remain captive to those negative emotions that are so painful. He wants us to live by the grace and power of His Holy Spirit. He wants us to walk (live) by the Spirit, not the flesh. “Walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit,” He tells us in Romans 8:1-2. “For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.”

            God wants us to be more than conquerors. Why? Because as much as He loves us (and it can’t be emphasized enough here that Jesus loves each and every one of us, as individuals), there is something else just as important. There is a common good, or goal, as well. A purpose for being, if you will, which includes many more than just one individual. When we are in pain, it’s that pain we tend to concentrate on. Self becomes our focus. God wants…God needs…me (and you) to get past focusing on self and start focusing on the very important purpose for which He created us in the first place! Whether we realize it or not, God created everyone for a reason. You and I were each created for a purpose, and we have a mission to accomplish. Whatever that mission is for you, it’s an important assignment that no one else on earth can fulfill quite like you can. Focusing on the negative keeps self on the throne. Being stuck on self keeps us far removed from the goal, assignment, and purpose for which God created us. It keeps us far removed from others. The flip side of the coin is that focusing on our purpose for living keeps us focused on others. In focusing on others, our own pain subsides. There is no room left in our hearts for it.

            The greatest spiritual battle ever occurred in the garden of Gethsemane approximately two thousand years ago. On that evening, one Man, Jesus Christ, was on His knees before His Father, asking that this cup (this dreadful horror that Jesus knew He was about to experience) be taken from Him. Jesus didn’t want to suffer any more than we do. But He knew what was happening. He knew the purpose for which He was brought to earth to be born of woman and take on the form and flesh of man. He knew there was a great task at hand—salvation for all mankind—and He knew what had to be done in order to accomplish it. He didn’t want to suffer, but the bottom line for Him was that He wanted His Father’s will to be accomplished more than His own.

            Therein lies the heart of spiritual warfare. Trusting that the Father knows all that’s happening, that He’s in control of it all, and wanting His will to be done even when it doesn’t line up with our own. Even when it seems like the darkness of the night will never give way to the light of the dawn. Because there’s a greater good at stake. Jesus struggled so much with what He knew was coming…the suffering He was to endure…that He shed great drops of blood. Yet he relented. He submitted to His Father’s will. It is because of His great sacrifice that you and I can have times of refreshing. Our greatest spiritual warfare battles will follow in His footsteps. They will not occur on a battlefield; they will take place on our knees. And what will be happening is that we will be overthrowing the reign that self once had over us, so that others can take its place. That’s when we will amazingly discover that the greatest spiritual warfare battles are followed by the greatest times of refreshing. 

These are my thoughts ... what are yours?  

Tate Publishers

 

The Biblical View of Grief & Depression

Xulon Press

Even today, many years after the initial writing of "One Foot on a Banana Peel," medical professionals are still "discussing" the difference (and IF there even is one) between grief and depression. "How long should a patient be 'allowed' to grieve before it is considered to be a depressive episode?" "Should the grieving person be medicated, or not?" (Click here to read one blog on this subject. There are many others out there.) While this subject seems to be on the "hot seat" in today's psychological blogs, I have yet to see anyone writing about how the Bible views the topic.

The Bible uses the word grief in a much broader sense than solely intense personal sadness. “To the Hebrew writers, the importance of grief was not its psychological effect upon the individual. Grief was important to them because it is a response to the troubles of a fallen world.” (Nelson’s Illustrated Bible Dictionary, copyright 1986, Thomas Nelson Publishers, pg. 446) The Lord Himself grieved over the sinfulness of His human creation. Ezekiel was groaning with broken heart and bitter grief as a prophetic sign of impending judgment. Isaiah’s grief (in Isaiah 17: 10, 11) was over those who had forgotten who God is. And grief, the Bible says, is the normal response to the trouble caused by one’s enemies. 

Sin is another Biblical cause for grief. Luke, chapter 15 tells the story about a prodigal son. Through this example, we see that physical death is not the only form of death.  Personalities can “die.” Have you ever seen a child whose personality changed drastically, maybe due to the use of drugs or alcohol? It may have even seemed like it happened almost overnight! Pre-marital sex can have the same strong reaction, especially in a young teen who has not yet developed the emotional capability to handle emotional responsibility. This is basically the same thing that happened to the young man. (Luke 15: 11-32) Obviously this young son was not dead physically. But who he was, his whole personality, his spirit and soul, had literally “died” because of his sin. This is what happened to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, and it’s what happens to each one of us when we sin. Our own personal sin causes us deeply felt grief, and sin in our lives causes “death,” which means we are separated from God. This death, this spiritual separation from God, causes grief.

Another reason for Biblical grief is when we grieve for others. Jesus wept. Not for Himself, but for those who should have known Him, but didn’t. Paul had “great sorrow and unceasing grief in his heart” for his brethren in the flesh who had not become his brethren in the Spirit. A pastor once told me that the majority of prayer requests he receives are concerning health issues. Paul had a desire and “burden” for the salvation of others … what happened to ours? Where did it go?

Job’s three friends grieved and mourned so much at what they saw, that they sat with him for seven days and nights in silence before they even spoke. Their heartache at seeing their friend suffer so, caused them to look for answers to fix the situation. They were barking up the wrong tree, obviously. But they kept grasping at whatever straw that entered their mind anyway, trying to find reasons for Job’s afflictions so that somehow the situation could be remedied. Who among us hasn’t done so? 

Esther was one whose grief for others was deeply felt.  Her story is told in the Book of Esther. Esther’s king was about to destroy the Jews, her people. Esther grieved over this, but she had a big problem. It seems the king had the power and authority to either dismiss her, or have her killed if she interfered or intervened in any way. Yet, her grief for her people would not be assuaged. So, her grief for her people caused her to put her life on the line for them.  She fasted first, and then went to see the king. By the grace of God, Esther found favor before the king, and was able to save her people from his decree. While we know it was an act of God’s mercy, it was through Esther’s grief and prayers for her people that they were saved.

On a more positive note, one more Biblical perspective on causes for grief, is that of “longing.” In this context, the longing is for God … longing to know Him better, in a deeper, more intimate manner than we ever have before. Longing to be filled with His Spirit, and have our thirst for Him quenched. Longing to know His Word and His ways.  We see David’s obvious heart for knowing the Lord, His ways and His word, in Psalm 119. David seeks to know the Lord.  With all of his heart, his mind and his body, he desires to know and walk in the ways of the Lord. Verse 20 finds David’s soul “crushed with longing” after the ordinances of the Lord. Verse 25 reveals that David’s soul “cleaves to the dust,” and he asks the Lord to revive him according to His word. Verse 28 states that David’s “soul weeps with grief,” and he asks God to strengthen him. David also zealously seeks after the salvation of the Lord, and he waits on the Lord to fulfill that desire. His soul “fails with longing” for the word of the Lord. All of that takes place in verses 81 and 82.

It's important to know how God sees grief.  In this day and age, we are inundated with sound and visuals from the entertainment industry which indicate how people react to trauma and tragedy. Once this "picture" is in our minds, far too many of us come to believe it.  And then when negative circumstances invade our own lives, we react in much the same manner.  We need something far more stable than the entertainment industry to lean on when trauma and tragedy hits us hard. We need strength from God and guidance from His Word.